Falling in Love is the first book to unlock the mysteries of how and why we fall in love. Renowned psychologist Ayala Pines shows us why we fall for the people we do, and argues convincingly that we love neither by chance nor by accident. She offers sound advice for making the right choices when it comes to this complicated emotion. Packed with helpful suggestions for those seeking love and those already in it, this book is about love's many puzzles.
The second edition furthers the work of the popular and successful first edition. With expanded research, theory, and practice, this book once again provides one of a kind understandings of the experience of love. The new edition offers updated references to recent research, new chapter exercises, and "case examples" of romantic stories to begin each chapter.
'Ayala Pines takes aim and sends her Cupid's arrow straight at us with this brilliant work, and we cannot help but fall in love with it and what it teaches us about love in our lives. Both a clinical tour de force and a rich practical guide.' - Dale Larson, Ph.D., author of The Helper's Journey and Associate Professor and Director at the Counseling Psychology Program, Santa Clara University
'A couples' therapist's clinical look at how and why we fall in love removes some of the mystery from that most magical of human experiences…Not a how-to guide for the lovelorn but a serious, research-oriented work of special interest to those involved in couples' therapy.' - Kirkus Reviews
Introduction. About Falling in Love and About this Book. Part I: Conscious Romantic Choices, Increasing the Likelihood of Falling in Love. Proximity, The Hidden Matchmaker. Adrenalin, The Elixir of Love. Beauty and Character. Birds of a Feather or Opposites Attract? Reciprocating Love and Satisfying Needs, We Love Those Who Love Us. The Course of Romantic Love, Falling in Love as a Process. On Men, Women, and Love, The Role of Status and Beauty. Part II: Unconscious Romantic Choices, Our Romantic Attraction Code. Openness to Love. The Son Falls in Love With "Mother," The Daughter With "Father." The Unconscious Romantic Image. Four Stories. Part III: Romantic Love in Long Term Relationships. How to Turn Love Problems into Opportunities for Growth. Love and Work: The Relationships Between their Unconscious Choices. Appendixes: I Romantic Choices Workshops. II Analyzing a romantic relationship. III Research findings. Notes. References. About the Author. Photo Permissions. Index.