How Psychotherapy helps us Understand Sexual Relationships: Insights from the Consulting Room, 1st Edition (Paperback) book cover

How Psychotherapy helps us Understand Sexual Relationships

Insights from the Consulting Room, 1st Edition

By Cherry Potter


250 pages

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Paperback: 9780367177812
pub: 2019-09-11
Available for pre-order
Hardback: 9780367177782
pub: 2019-09-11
Available for pre-order

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In this fascinating book Cherry Potter takes readers on her personal and professional quest for insights into sex, relationships and gender differences. Why do we feel what we feel, and do what we do? What is the impact of ‘performance anxiety’ on men, and on society generally? Why are women still faking it? Is ubiquitous online porn turning the clock backwards?

The book delves into the work of Freud, Klein, Bowlby and recent developments in Attachment Theory for insights into our conscious and unconscious fears and desires, and introduces readers to a range of fascinating clients. These include Jeremy, who was so ashamed of his virginity he was unable to have a relationship; Ellie, who repeatedly fell in love with unobtainable men; Kieran, whose fear of abandonment threatened to wreck his gay relationships; Dulcie who for years had been unable to face the truth – that her husband was having multiple affairs; and Lars who was addicted to online porn and prostitutes. The book shows how the work between therapist and client is a process of learning together, which is at times painful and deeply moving, but can also reflect a renewed vitality and hope for the future, particularly when it comes to talking about sex.

How Psychotherapy helps us Understand Sexual Relationships: Insights from the Consulting Room will be of great interest to both the general reader as well as psychotherapists and counsellors.


"What strikes me is Cherry Potter’s openness, how engaging her book is and how much I identify with it. I’ve no doubt this will be a great book for therapists as well as for people struggling to understand their own sexuality. But I suspect its real value will be for encouraging people to be as honest with themselves as Cherry Potter has been." --Philippa Perry, Psychotherapist, Author, Presenter of Sex Lies and Lovebites: The Agony Aunt Story (BBC Four), The Great British Sex Survey (Channel 4) and others"

"Her writing style is accessible and her knowledge of psycho-analytic theory obvious. I recommend it widely." --Paula Hall, UKCP Accredited Sexual & Relationship Psychotherapist, Founder and Clinical Director of the Laurel Centre, Author, Sex Addiction: A Guide for Couples and Those Who Help Them

Table of Contents


Chapter One: It all begins in childhood

Chapter Two: Big changes, entrenched attitudes

Chapter Three: What have parents got to do with our sexual relationships?

Chapter Four: Love and attachment and why they matter

Chapter Five: On women, their fathers, and forbidden loveChapter Six: Affectionate love and lasting sexual desire – can we have both?

Chapter Seven: On pornography, prostitutes and sex addiction

Chapter Eight: On women’s misogyny and self-hatred

Chapter Nine: On passion, envy, rage and hate



About the Author

Cherry Potter is a UKCP registered psychotherapist, group analyst and couple therapist. She was formerly a writer and film school lecturer and she has run screenwriting workshops in many countries. She has published three books and many articles about film, culture and relationships. She sees clients at her private practice in Brighton.

Subject Categories

BISAC Subject Codes/Headings:
PSYCHOLOGY / Movements / Psychoanalysis
PSYCHOLOGY / Mental Health