Nurturing Children describes children’s lives transformed through therapy.
Drawing on decades of experience, internationally respected clinician and trainer Graham Music tackles major issues affecting troubled children, including trauma, neglect, depression and violence. Using psychoanalysis alongside modern developmental thinking from neurobiology, attachment and trauma theory and mindfulness, Music creates his own distinctive blend of approaches to help even the most traumatised of children.
A mix of personal accounts and therapeutic riches, Nurturing Children will appeal to anyone helping children, young people and families to lead fuller lives.
"Dr Music is certainly one of the best and probably the most deep thinking child psychotherapists in the world. This beautiful book distills decades of neuro-clinical thinking, interpreting children’s and young people’s experience and behavior in terms of the most applicable and scientifically credible models of mind. For those who wish to understand clinical phenomena and through this improve their clinical work, this book is a must. For those who want to marvel and learn from the writing of a master clinician, this book is amongst the best you are likely to encounter. And for the few who want to do both… this is an incredible opportunity. I could not recommend a book more strongly." - Professor Peter Fonagy OBE, Head of the Division of Psychology and Language Sciences at UCL; Chief Executive of the Anna Freud National Centre for Children and Families, London, UK
"Of all life forms on this planet human infants are by far the most dependent on the love and care they receive from their parents. The need for caring can extend well into the adolescent years and beyond. Not only do parents protect them but they shape the maturation of their brain development, the robustness of their immune system and even the expression of their genes. As an international, leading exponent of attachment theory and its applications in child psychotherapy, there could be no better guide than Dr Music to reveal the role of attachment as both a source of trauma and its recovery. Bringing the reader many years of therapeutic insight and experience, with a clarity of exposition of fascinating and important case studies, this is a wonderful addition to the literature. All therapists and other professionals working with children would benefit enormously from this book." - Professor Paul Gilbert OBE, author of The Compassionate Mind and Living like Crazy
"Graham Music has done it again. This is a much-needed book and the clinical work is profoundly moving. Music is able to blend his own deeply felt empathic capacities with a comprehensive grasp of the latest developmental and neuroscientific research in a highly readable form. He is a real thinker and all of us in the field of child mental health, and for that matter, learning disability, will be extremely grateful for it. He really gets, and uses, all the new work on the body, too." - Anne Alvarez, consultant, child and adolescent psychotherapist, Tavistock Clinic; author of Live Company and The Thinking Heart
"If you are looking for a book that tells you what attachment-based, neuroscience-informed psychotherapy looks like in practice, look no further. Graham Music’s wonderful book conveys the process brilliantly. It demonstrates how an attuned and compassionate relationship is the key to psychological growth, a process that might sound easy yet is in practice a demanding art that draws on all the psychotherapist’s resources to respond at the right level, at the right moment. He is particularly good on the psychotherapist’s own struggles to extend compassion to himself and to stay ‘alive and present’ in difficult therapeutic relationships." - Sue Gerhardt, psychotherapist; co-founder of the Oxford Parent Infant Project; and author of the bestselling book Why Love Matters
"Graham Music takes us on a journey with him in his new book, Nurturing Children: From Trauma to Growth Using Attachment Theory, Psychoanalysis and Neurobiology. From his psychoanalytic ‘bedrock’ Graham grows flowers, many of which include his reflections on the thoughts of therapeutic mentors and theorists as well as on therapeutic implications from findings of attachment and neurobiology research. Yet the most vibrant flowers involve the moments that he spends coming to know the minds and hearts of young people and discovering the paths with them that will lead from trauma to hope. In this work, Graham invites us into his therapeutic space to be present with him – with both his mind and heart – as he is present with these hurt and courageous young people.
To read this work is to enter into a conversation with Graham, to wonder with him about the meanings of what Molly, Michael, Samantha and the others are doing so to better understand their unique experiences and find the one-of-a-kind therapeutic intervention that will do them the most good. We share with Graham his wobbles and confusion, recoveries and unfoldings, as he finds a way of relating with each child that may well create safety, healing, and integration. These conversations, readily available to us as we read, will bring Graham with us into our therapeutic space and enrich our work with the minds and hearts of the children we are coming to know and care about, regardless of the nature of the bedrock upon which we stand." - Daniel A. Hughes, PhD, is a clinical psychologist who specializes in child abuse and neglect, attachment, foster care, and adoption. He is a prolific author and actively trains other therapists in the model of treatment known as Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy, both within the United States and in other countries
Chapter 1: Introduction
Chapter 2: One Foot in the Ditch
Chapter 3: Resilience, mismatches and repair
Chapter 4: Attachment, and jumpy untrusting kids
Chapter 5: Stuart: Growing an ‘inner executive’ and a mind to think thoughts
Chapter 6: Left hemispheres rule, feelings avoided. Jenny and Edward
Chapter 7: Neglected children: Why it is easy yet dangerous to neglect neglect
Chapter 8: Bringing up the Bodies: Body awareness and easeful selves
Chapter 9: Trauma and treading carefully
Chapter 10: Angels and devils: sadism and violence in children
Chapter 11: Altruism and compassion: How they can be turned on and off
Chapter 12: Addiction, tech and the web: new dangers hijacking old systems
Chapter 13: Freeing the scapegoat by containing not blaming: Thoughts on schools-based therapeutic work (with Becky Hall)
Chapter 14: Concluding thoughts