Smart but Scattered--and Stalled
10 Steps to Help Young Adults Use Their Executive Skills to Set Goals, Make a Plan, and Successfully Leave the Nest
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Whether you're a young adult who is stalled on the journey to independence--or a concerned parent still sharing the family nest--this compassionate book is for you. Providing a fresh perspective on the causes of failure to launch, the expert authors present a 10-step plan that helps grown kids and parents work together to achieve liftoff. Learn why brain-based executive skills such as planning, organization, and time management are so important to success, and what you can do to strengthen them. You get downloadable practical tools for figuring out what areas to target, building skills, identifying a desired career path, and making a customized action plan. Vivid stories of other families navigating the same challenges (including father and son Richard and Colin Guare) reveal what kind of parental support is productive--and when to let go.
Table of Contents
Prologue: How I Got Stalled
Introduction: The Stepping Stones to Independence
Step 1. Assess the Young Adult’s Skills for Independence: The Executive in the Brain
Step 2. Build a Foundation for Moving Forward: Motivation, Readiness, Respect, and Support
Step 3. Identify a Realistic Direction: The Young Adult’s Interests and Aptitudes
Step 4. Plan How to Help--and Where Not To: Parents’ Executive Skills and Respect for Boundaries
Step 5. Set a Goal: Pull Everything Together and Evaluate Goodness of Fit
Step 6. Make It Official: Use SMART Goals to Plan the Steps and Evaluate Progress
Step 7. Make It Easier: Anticipate Problems and Intervene to Get Things Done
Step 8. Get Creative to Tackle Specific Weaknesses
Step 9. Seek Extra Help If You’re Still Stalled
Step 10. Learn from Your Success
Appendix: Getting Help with Independent Living
Richard Guare, PhD, is Director of the Center for Learning and Attention Disorders at Seacoast Mental Health Center in Portsmouth, New Hampshire. Dr. Guare's research and publications focus on the understanding and treatment of learning and attention difficulties. He is a neuropsychologist and board-certified behavior analyst who frequently consults to schools and agencies. He is coauthor of bestselling books for general readers, including Smart but Scattered, Smart but Scattered Teens, Smart but Scattered--and Stalled (with a focus on emerging adults), and The Smart but Scattered Guide to Success (with a focus on adults). Dr. Guare is also coauthor of The Work-Smart Academic Planner, Revised Edition, and books for professionals including Executive Skills in Children and Adolescents, Third Edition.
Colin Guare, MS, is a registered behavior technician and writer who works with children and adolescents on the autism spectrum and is currently pursuing his board certification in applied behavior analysis (BCBA). Mr. Guare brings a unique perspective to his work, having grown up with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder and managed executive skill challenges throughout his life. With Peg Dawson and Richard Guare, he is coauthor of Smart but Scattered Teens and Smart but Scattered--and Stalled.
Peg Dawson, EdD, is a psychologist on the staff of the Center for Learning and Attention Disorders at Seacoast Mental Health Center in Portsmouth, New Hampshire. She also does professional development training on executive skills for schools and organizations nationally and internationally. Dr. Dawson is a past president of the New Hampshire Association of School Psychologists, the National Association of School Psychologists (NASP), and the International School Psychology Association, and a recipient of the Lifetime Achievement Award from NASP. She is coauthor of bestselling books for general readers, including Smart but Scattered, Smart but Scattered Teens, Smart but Scattered--and Stalled (with a focus on emerging adults), and The Smart but Scattered Guide to Success (with a focus on adults). Dr. Dawson is also coauthor of The Work-Smart Academic Planner, Revised Edition, and books for professionals including Executive Skills in Children and Adolescents, Third Edition.
"The Smart but Scattered books are among the most useful and informative resources for managing executive skills problems. This one is chock-full of sound advice for young adults--including those who have ADHD--and their parents."--Russell A. Barkley, PhD, ABPP, ABCN, author of Taking Charge of ADHD
"As a mother of three, I think this book should be in the home of all parents of older teens and young adults in today's world. It defines the stages of independence that should be taking place as our children grow up mentally and emotionally. It also clarifies the difference between being 'lazy' and not being ready--and helps young adults (and their parents!) build the future they want."--Andrea M., Rye, New Hampshire
"This book will help you and your young adult get to know yourselves (and each other) better--and develop a plan to get 'unstuck.' Using your strengths and past successes, you can set goals and get the support you need to achieve them. I highly recommend this book for any parents and grown kids who need some practical help getting where they want to go!"--Patricia O. Quinn, MD, coauthor of Ready for Take-Off and On Your Own
"I often find parenting books unrealistic, but this one, written by a father and son, is helpful and practical. It gives a step-by-step plan for helping a stalled young adult move forward, and the questionnaires take some of the emotion out of sensitive conversations. Colin's story sounds so familiar to me as a parent--as does his dad's! This book shows how to help your young adult work toward goals that he or she chooses, while moving your relationship toward one of mutual respect between equals."--Patricia J., Rockaway Beach, Oregon
"A superb resource for parents who want to help young adult children develop the executive skills they need to reach their educational and career potential. No other book provides such a clear explanation of 'failure to launch' and converts scientific knowledge into practical problem-solving ideas. I can’t praise this book enough--it’s truly a gold mine of knowledge and tools for families."--Mary V. Solanto, PhD, Department of Pediatrics, Zucker School of Medicine at Hofstra/Northwell
"This unique, useful resource will help young adults successfully launch from the comfortable nest of the family home to a nest of their own."--Lisa L. Weyandt, PhD, Department of Psychology, University of Rhode Island