In the 21st century, we tend to expect more than ever from our relationships without knowing how to sustain them. Often a married couple juggling the many demands of life, work and children take their bond for granted. They fail to cultivate and nurture the positive interactions they share, neglecting the fun, playful and sexy side of the relationship. Over time, this neglect creates an increasing spiral of dysfunction. We’re No Fun Anymore reminds therapists and the couples they treat that marriage does not have to mean forfeiting the passion, playfulness and joy in a relationship. With 50 combined years of clinical experience backing it, the program outlined in this book will help to build up a relationship without first tearing it down, examining its weaknesses, or trying to fix its problems.
Integrating findings from neuroscience, social psychology, positive psychology and marriage research, We’re No Fun Anymore shows couple therapists how to create and magnify positive energy between their clients to refortify the foundation of their relationship and help it stand strong, even in times of strife and crisis. Readers will find a practical (and fun) plan to get their marriage out of the rut that’s robbing it of fun, recapture the pleasure of dating, romance, and love, and revive the playful quality of sex that makes it the pleasurable and enjoyable experience it’s supposed to be. Clinicians will also get the bonus of increasing the fun that they have in their personal lives and in their clinical work with clients.
Table of Contents
The Power of Play in Relationships and Life: Theory and Research. The Couples' Play and Positive Interaction Assessment (CPPIA) and Marital Play Deficiency Disorder (MPDD). No Play Zone: Looking at Barriers, Permission, and the Problems of Play. Cultivating a Play it Forward Attitude. Playful Practices that Pack a Punch! Promoting Paired Play: A Play Inventory for Couples. Protecting the Play Zone: Dating in Captivity. Sex and Sexuality and Marital Play Deficiency Disorder. The Playful Therapist: Personifying Play in Your Practice.
Robert Schwarz, Psy.D., DCEP, is a licensed psychologist and marriage and family therapist. He has been in private practice for more than 25 years and is the Executive Director of the Association for Comprehensive Energy Psychology.
Elaine Braff, M.P.S., A.T.R., is an expressive arts therapist, couples coach, marriage educator, and Master Leader of the nationally acclaimed PAIRS marriage education course. She’s been in private practice for 31 years in South Orange, New Jersey.
"The family that plays together stays together. Elaine Braff and Robert Schwarz eloquently remind us that just resolving conflict will not save a marriage. They do more than tell us that we need to have fun together; they show us how to do it." – Steven Stosny, author of How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It and Love Without Hurt
"Robert Schwarz and Elaine Braff are insightful, experienced therapists who present a fresh and lively approach to couples therapy that is highly practical. Helping couples cultivate positive playful attitudes and behaviors is vital to marital satisfaction. Focusing on the positive aspects of relationships like laughter, humor, and fun creates a common bond between the sexes that can help sustain love." —John Gray, author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus
"This book should be handed out with each marriage license and be required reading for every couples counselor. It’s complete and is all that’s needed to help couples play together and stay together. I review so many books about marriage, but this one is truly unique. Instead of how to manage conflict, it’s all about how to manage fun. Instead of how to fight fair, it’s all about how to play with abandon. You can’t read it without feeling optimistic, inspired, energized and determined to put more frolic and gusto in your marriage and your practice." —Diane Sollee, MSW, Director, SmartMarriages.com
"Therapists tend to be serious types and our interventions are not known for their chuckle factor. This refreshing and original book shows how to reawaken play in the lives of couples, from flirting to big surprises, from planned silliness to erotic delights. The authors ask therapists to lighten up and enjoy themselves more." —William J. Doherty, University of Minnesota, USA; author of Take Back Your Marriage: Sticking Together in a World That Pulls Us Apart