Your Defiant Teen : 10 Steps to Resolve Conflict and Rebuild Your Relationship book cover
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Your Defiant Teen
10 Steps to Resolve Conflict and Rebuild Your Relationship




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ISBN 9781462511662
Published December 25, 2013 by Guilford Press
372 Pages

 
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Book Description

If life with your teen has become a battleground, it's time to take action. This empathic book shows how. Trusted psychologists who have worked with thousands of families give you the tools you need to overcome defiance and get teen behavior back on track. By following the authors' clinically proven 10-step program, learn how you can:
 
*Reestablish your authority while building trust.
*Identify and enforce nonnegotiable rules.
*Use rewards and incentives that work.
*Communicate and problem-solve effectively--even in the heat of the moment.
*Restore positive feelings in your relationship.
*Develop your teen's skills for becoming a successful adult.
 
Vivid stories and answers to frequently asked questions help you put the techniques into action. The updated second edition incorporates new scientific research on why some teens have more problems with self-control than others. Practical forms and worksheets can be downloaded and printed in a convenient 8 1/2"" x 11"" size.

Mental health professionals, see also the authors' Defiant Teens, Second Edition: A Clinician's Manual for Assessment and Family Intervention. For a focus on younger children, see also Dr. Barkley's Defiant Children, Third Edition (for professionals), and Your Defiant Child, Second Edition (for parents).

Table of Contents

Introduction
I. You and Your Defiant Teen
1. What Defiance Is--and What You Should Do about It
2. How Defiance Develops
3. What Does Adolescence Have to Do with It?
4. Is It Just Your Teen's Personality?
5. Where Do You Come In?
6. How to Find a Way Out
II. 10 Steps to a Better Relationship with Your Teen--and a Better Future for Your Teen
7. Getting Ready
8. Step 1. Making Positive One-on-One Time a Habit
9. Step 2. A New Way to Manage Behavior
10. Step 3. Contracts and Point Systems: How Teens Can Earn Privileges
11. Step 4. Making the Punishment Really Fit the Crime
12. Step 5. Tackling Additional Issues with Rewards and Penalties
13. Step 6. Addressing Defiant Behavior in School and Conflicts over Homework
14. Step 7. Using Problem-Solving Skills
15. Step 8. Learning and Practicing Communication Skills
16. Step 9. Dealing with Unreasonable Beliefs and Expectations
17. Step 10. Keeping It Together
Appendix A. Sample Problem-Solving Worksheets
Appendix B. How to Find a Therapist
Resources

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Author(s)

Biography

Russell A. Barkley, PhD, ABPP, ABCN, is Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at the Virginia Commonwealth University School of Medicine. Dr. Barkley has worked with children, adolescents, and families since the 1970s and is the author of numerous bestselling books for both professionals and the public, including Taking Charge of ADHD and Your Defiant Child. He has also published six assessment scales and more than 280 scientific articles and book chapters on attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, executive functioning, and childhood defiance, and is editor of the newsletter The ADHD Report. A frequent conference presenter and speaker who is widely cited in the national media, Dr. Barkley is past president of the Section on Clinical Child Psychology (the former Division 12) of the American Psychological Association (APA), and of the International Society for Research in Child and Adolescent Psychopathology. He is a recipient of awards from the American Academy of Pediatrics and the APA, among other honors. His website is www.russellbarkley.org.

Arthur L. Robin, PhD, is Director of Psychology Training at Children's Hospital of Michigan and Professor of Psychiatry and Behavioral Neurosciences at Wayne State University. Dr. Robin is a practicing psychologist with more than 40 years of clinical experience.

Christine M. Benton is a Chicago-based writer and editor.

Reviews

"The transition from adolescence to adulthood can be tough as teens attempt to assert their independence. Now in an updated second edition, this is a very welcome, current resource that helps you guide your teen through difficult times. Your Defiant Teen has been--and will continue to be--the first book I recommend to parents struggling with challenging teens."--Sam Goldstein, PhD, coauthor of Angry Children, Worried Parents

"Since the first edition of this book was published, growing evidence shows that the authors' program works. The second edition incorporates lessons learned from continuing research while maintaining the practical, warm, and supportive approach. Without placing blame, the authors help you understand your teen's behavior and explain 10 clear steps for creating positive change by improving the ways you interact."--Torrey A. Creed, PhD, Department of Psychiatry, University of Pennsylvania

"Here it is--a book that provides insights into your teen's behavior and a game plan for addressing it! This step-by-step guide can produce a stunning turnaround by helping you focus on the positive and strike that necessary balance between monitoring your teen and fostering independence."--Sharon K. Weiss, MEd, coauthor of From Chaos to Calm: Effective Parenting of Challenging Children with ADHD and Other Behavioral Problems   "This practical guide provides a tool for parents to nurture teens through this difficult stage of development with compassion, consistency, and structure....The book's style is consistently instructive, and as a parent of a teenager, I was able to relate to the realistic examples presented....As both a parent of a teenaged child and an advocate of positive behavior management, I find this book to be an invaluable resource by which parents can resolve and work through the difficult and often devastating issue of teen defiance. The book and its program offer the possibility of change for both parents and teens, as well as hope for families in distress. The book is not only informative but enjoyable, and I believe that any family with a teenaged child would benefit from reading and applying the ideas it promotes." (on the first edition) -- Journal of Child and Family Studies

"The authors have much experience in dealing with oppositional and defiant teens. They included in this self-help book many practical and useful hints, ideas, and strategies that many parents may find helpful. Discriminating which level and sort of problems may need professional help and which can be tackled by simply using this book is a plus….This book can be recommended to parents who are struggling with their children's adolescence. It does contain proven strategies and develops them in a logical and appropriate presentation….This book can be a positive adjunct to therapists working with this population by providing parents an additional resource to consult between therapy sessions." -- Child and Family Behavior Therapy

"Extremely thorough and readable....Much more detailed and parent-oriented than [others], this will be...much in demand. This book is written for parents seeking relief from the stress of living with an arrogant, aggressive, or noncompliant son or daughter....Parents learn how to insist that their kids exhibit appropriate behavior for family life, school, and work." (on the first edition) -- Library Journal

"A practical missive to parents confronting defiance....Your Defiant Teen delivers on its promise. It is a directive book that encourages parents to take back authority while simultaneously respecting the magic process of burgeoning independence....The examples are diverse and inclusive as they span the teen years. The problem behaviors vary from sneaking time on the Internet to covert midday romantic encounters at the expense of regular school attendance. These descriptions seem empowering for parents because they help define the problem and help parents feel less isolated in dealing with the difficult teen....Your Defiant Teen is an empathy-building, empowering, and practical book. It is a wonderful tool for highly motivated parents looking to master techniques for dealing with defiance....The sections of the book that help build insight into defiance as the task of adolescence and frame general healthy interactions could be helpful to all types of parents dealing with defiance. De -- Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry

"This practical guide provides a tool for parents to nurture teens through this difficult stage of development with compassion, consistency, and structure....The book's style is consistently instructive, and as a parent of a teenager, I was able to relate to the realistic examples presented....As both a parent of a teenaged child and an advocate of positive behavior management, I find this book to be an invaluable resource by which parents can resolve and work through the difficult and often devastating issue of teen defiance. The book and its program offer the possibility of change for both parents and teens, as well as hope for families in distress. The book is not only informative but enjoyable, and I believe that any family with a teenaged child would benefit from reading and applying the ideas it promotes." (on the first edition) -- Journal of Child and Family Studies

"The authors have much experience in dealing with oppositional and defiant teens. They included in this self-help book many practical and useful hints, ideas, and strategies that many parents may find helpful. Discriminating which level and sort of problems may need professional help and which can be tackled by simply using this book is a plus….This book can be recommended to parents who are struggling with their children's adolescence. It does contain proven strategies and develops them in a logical and appropriate presentation….This book can be a positive adjunct to therapists working with this population by providing parents an additional resource to consult between therapy sessions."--Child and Family Behavior Therapy, 8/3/2015

"[This] comprehensive defiance-busting system helps parents define and assess the problem....Without placing blame, the authors reveal that parents often unwittingly make a bad situation worse; the text gives solid tips on how to work toward a positive outcome and offers a variety of scenarios, demonstrating precisely how a parent's words and actions can be the source of a teen's compliant or defiant response. In the end, the authors offer a useful and detailed approach that respects the rights and expectations of parents and teens." (on the first edition)--Publishers Weekly, 11/19/2007

"Extremely thorough and readable....Much more detailed and parent-oriented than [others], this will be...much in demand. This book is written for parents seeking relief from the stress of living with an arrogant, aggressive, or noncompliant son or daughter....Parents learn how to insist that their kids exhibit appropriate behavior for family life, school, and work." (on the first edition)--Library Journal, 1/22/2008

"A practical missive to parents confronting defiance....Your Defiant Teen delivers on its promise. It is a directive book that encourages parents to take back authority while simultaneously respecting the magic process of burgeoning independence....The examples are diverse and inclusive as they span the teen years. The problem behaviors vary from sneaking time on the Internet to covert midday romantic encounters at the expense of regular school attendance. These descriptions seem empowering for parents because they help define the problem and help parents feel less isolated in dealing with the difficult teen....Your Defiant Teen is an empathy-building, empowering, and practical book. It is a wonderful tool for highly motivated parents looking to master techniques for dealing with defiance....The sections of the book that help build insight into defiance as the task of adolescence and frame general healthy interactions could be helpful to all types of parents dealing with defiance. Defiance is a tough foe, and this book should be a real help to parents struggling to put defiance in its place." (on the first edition)--Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, 3/1/2009

"This practical guide provides a tool for parents to nurture teens through this difficult stage of development with compassion, consistency, and structure....The book's style is consistently instructive, and as a parent of a teenager, I was able to relate to the realistic examples presented....As both a parent of a teenaged child and an advocate of positive behavior management, I find this book to be an invaluable resource by which parents can resolve and work through the difficult and often devastating issue of teen defiance. The book and its program offer the possibility of change for both parents and teens, as well as hope for families in distress. The book is not only informative but enjoyable, and I believe that any family with a teenaged child would benefit from reading and applying the ideas it promotes." (on the first edition)--Journal of Child and Family Studies, 2/1/2009

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