1st Edition

A Life Well Lived Dialogues with a “Kabouter”

By Manfred F. R. Kets de Vries Copyright 2024
    202 Pages
    by Routledge

    202 Pages
    by Routledge

    Manfred Kets de Vries wears many “hats”—psychoanalyst, executive coach, consultant, management educator, researcher, writer—but he has noticed that whichever hat he is wearing, every question he is asked boils down to one thing: “How can I live a well-lived life?”

    Over many years of practice in all these disciplines, Professor Kets de Vries has realized the unsurpassed value of stories in tackling human dilemmas and providing answers to this question. The book is, therefore, one of the most important books he has written for coaches, students, leaders, managers, educators—or anyone seeking a more reflective text to guide them through the multitude of questions that we face in work and in life.  He draws on a long literary tradition of the unexpected encounter with a wise “other,” fantastic or magical—think The Little Prince, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, The Once and Future King, the Harry Potter novels—to animate an exploration of the deepest questions and concerns of human beings. He constructs an extended Socratic dialogue between his two “selves”; the first a naïve traveler, lost in the Siberian wilderness, and the second a reflective avatar who comes to his aid. The avatar takes the form of a “kabouter,” a familiar figure in Dutch folklore whose counterpart can be found in different cultures around the world and throughout centuries of storytelling.

    Through stories, riddles, and puzzles, the kabouter challenges the traveler to question and reflect upon his life and values, guiding him—and readers—toward the insights that will help them achieve a life well lived.

    DAY ONE  1. Walking in circles  2. The open mind  3. The sound of one hand  4. Deep listening  5. Look beneath the surface  6. Beyond appearances  7. The Golden Rule  DAY TWO  8. Making promises  9. Integrity  10. Hypocrisy  11. Greed  12. Selfishness  13. Giving versus taking  14. Hubris  15. Liars  16. What’s all the gossip about gossip?  DAY THREE  17. The streetlight effect  18. Self-fulfilling prophecies  DAY FOUR  19. Ritualization  20. Anger  21. Compromise  22. Deal with your neuroses  23. Dreaming  24. Daydreaming  25. Transference  26. Paradoxical intervention  27. Courage  DAY FIVE  28. Encouragement  29. Good judgment  30. Sexual desire  31. Staying grounded  32. Self-care  33. Self-compassion  34. Carpe diem  35. Education  36. Hope  37. The expiry date

    Biography

    Manfred F. R. Kets de Vries is the Distinguished Clinical Professor of Leadership Development and Organizational Change at INSEAD and the Founder of INSEAD’s Global Leadership Center. The Financial Times, Wirtschaftswoche, Le Capital, El Pais, and the Economist have rated him among the world’s leading management thinkers. He is the author of more than 50 books and hundreds of articles, and the recipient of numerous awards, including four honorary doctorates.