The second edition of this essential and newly updated workbook is intended for use with couples who want to enhance their emotional connection or overcome their relationship distress. It closely follows the course of EFT treatment and allows clinicians to easily integrate guided reading, reflection, and discussion into the therapeutic process.
Incorporating new developments in EFT and decades of research in the field of attachment, Veronica Kallos-Lilly and Jennifer Fitzgerald include chapters that explore concepts such as attachment bonds, the three cycles of relationship distress, how to make sense of emotions, relationship hurts and more. The workbook follows the familiar and accessible format of the first edition, Read, Reflect, and Discuss, and weaves fresh, illustrative examples throughout, with updated content considering the impact of gender, culture, and sexual orientation on relationship dynamics. Added reflections on these topics and an expanded section on sexuality dispels constraining popular myths and frees partners up to express themselves more openly.
This book is essential reading for partners looking for helpful steps to improve the quality of their romantic relationships as well as marriage and family therapists, couple therapists and clinicians training in EFT to use with their clients.
Table of Contents
1. Introduction: Who is This Book For? 2. Attachment Bonds: The Best Chance of Survival 3. My Partner and Me: What Influenced Who We Are and How We Are in Close Relationships? 4. What Happened to Us? Three Cycles of Relationship Distress 5. Emotions: How to Make Sense of Them 6. More About Emotions: What Are We Both Feeling? 7. The Road to Security Is Paved with Good Intentions 8. Socially Useful Emotions: Hurt, Shame, Guilt and Jealousy 9. Rebuilding Our Bond 10. Relationship Injury: How Can We Repair the Damage? 11. Stories of Change 12. Maintaining Intimacy and Revitalizing Our Sex Life 13. Looking Ahead: Anticipating Life Transitions
Veronica Kallos-Lilly, PhD, is a Registered Psychologist and Founding Co-Director of the Vancouver Couple & Family Institute and Vancouver Centre for EFT Training in British Columbia, Canada. As a certified EFT therapist, supervisor and trainer, Veronica provides consultation in all modalities of EFT and presents trainings internationally.
Jennifer Fitzgerald, PhD, Clinical Psychologist, is Co-Director of the Australian Centre for EFT, and has worked at the University of Queensland for the past twenty years teaching medical communication, health psychology and couples’ therapy. She is a certified EFT therapist, supervisor and trainer, and teaches EFT in all states of Australia.
"The perspectives and exercises offered here are right on target; they arise from a clear understanding of the bonds of love and how these bonds work in adult relationships…We hope that this book will help you do just that – shape your precious relationship into a more satisfying and lasting bond."
From the Foreword –Susan Johnson, EdD, Emeritus Professor of Clinical Psychology at University of Ottawa, Ontario, Canada and Developer of Emotionally Focused Therapy
"The second edition of this workbook for couples is a fantastic resource made even better! It faithfully mirrors the process of Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy (EFT). In-depth explanations and reflective exercises will help you to explore your emotions, articulate them better for yourself, and express them to your partner. It’s like having two master EFT therapists come home with you, envelop you in warmth, and guide you to improve your relationship or reinforce and build on your sessions if you are working with a therapist. The authors have broadened the scope of the workbook by integrating complexity around culture and the trauma of oppression, and by including examples of diverse couples. I will recommend this guide to every one of the couples in my practice!"
–Marlene Best, PhD, Clinical Professor of Clinical Psychology, University of Ottawa, Canada, and Certified EFT Therapist, Supervisor and Trainer
"This workbook, based on Emotionally Focused Therapy, includes excellent exercises that focus on helping couples crate positive communication patterns in place of the destructive ones that negatively affect their relationships. Drawing on extensive research and clinical experience, this book will help couples strengthen their trust in one another as well as heal past hurts. I recommend it for use in marriage enrichment groups, as well as by individual couples."
From the First Edition–Patricia Noller, PhD, Emeritus Professor, School of Psychology, University of Queensland, Australia
"This book offers 'power tools' for couples who want to look deeply at themselves and their relationship. The authors go a lot deeper than routine techniques of marital communication--they get to the heart of the matter, and in this edition, they add insights on sexuality and culture. I urge anyone who wants to grow their relationship to read, digest, and practise what this book offers."
William J. Doherty, PhD, Professor of Family Social Science, University of Minnesota, USA, and author of Take Back your Marriage