And the Passenger Was Death : The Drama and Trauma of Losing a Child book cover
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And the Passenger Was Death
The Drama and Trauma of Losing a Child





ISBN 9780895032447
Published June 15, 2003 by Routledge
128 Pages

 
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Book Description

"Our culture celebrates life and youth, but does not prepare us for the premature death of our children. Out of his intense personal grief, which ordinarily is isolating, Doug Daher enables us to understand the vitality of relating and the dynamics of healing in recovering from the death of one's child. This eloquent testimony to the resilience of the human spirit works brilliantly at so many levels of analysis from personal grieving, up through social support and ritual networks, and down to the business systems engulfing death. And the Passenger Was Death takes us on a moving journey--we'd all rather avoid, but eventually must take--conducting us through alien terrain in a most caring, inquisitive and therapeutically vital way."
Phil Zimbardo, President American Psychological Association

"For something as universal as death, it comes as a shock to find how unique each death is. But that is because a death breaks a specific relationship. Daher's book gives a painfully clear picture of one particular death--that of the young-adult son who meant so much to his father and for whom he had such high hopes. Step by step, Daher takes us through his devastating experience. Readers will be both moved and educated by going through it with him."
William Bridges, author of: The Way of Transition: Embracing Life's Most Difficult Moment

"An extraordinarily poignant diary-like read written by a grieving parent who chronicles his journey of grief. From the first moment of pain and disbelief through the funeral and the police investigation, hoping beyond hope that the question 'Why' would be answered. And then the realization that 'Why' would offer no solace.

"Dr Daher's unique position as PhD psychologist and bereaved father are obvious in the human struggle that presents itself as his journey of healing unfolds. A classic narration on the spiral nature of grief and mourning. It is rich with reminiscences and ritual. "
Marilyn S. Walke, Director of Client Care, Centre for Living with Dying

Table of Contents

Introduction

ACT I—First Week
 The Delivery
 The Ride
 The Confusion
 The Planning
 The First Night
 The Company
 The Detective
 The Visit
 The Dream
 The Informing
 The Wake
 The Funeral
 The Circle

ACT II—Players
 Protection
 Matching Stars
 Cleared Eyes
 Cracking Glass

ACT III—Inside
 The Crying
 The Despair
 The Anger
 The Longing
 The Remembering
 The Forgetting
 The Loss
 The Attachment

ACT IV—Systems
 The Bank
 The Worker’s Compensation
 The Insurance
 The Preamble
 The Lawsuit

ACT V—Rituals
 Tree Planting
 Ashes
 Second Anniversary

ACT VI—Healing Relationships

Conclusion

Postscript

Resources

References

Index 

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Reviews

"Our culture celebrates life and youth, but does not prepare us for the premature death of our children. Out of his intense personal grief, which ordinarily is isolating, Doug Daher enables us to understand the vitality of relating and the dynamics of healing in recovering from the death of one's child. This eloquent testimony to the resilience of the human spirit works brilliantly at so many levels of analysis from personal grieving, up through social support and ritual networks, and down to the business systems engulfing death. And the Passenger Was Death takes us on a moving journey--we'd all rather avoid, but eventually must take--conducting us through alien terrain in a most caring, inquisitive and therapeutically vital way."
Phil Zimbardo, President American Psychological Association

"For something as universal as death, it comes as a shock to find how unique each death is. But that is because a death breaks a specific relationship. Daher's book gives a painfully clear picture of one particular death--that of the young-adult son who meant so much to his father and for whom he had such high hopes. Step by step, Daher takes us through his devastating experience. Readers will be both moved and educated by going through it with him."
William Bridges, author of: The Way of Transition: Embracing Life's Most Difficult Moment

"An extraordinarily poignant diary-like read written by a grieving parent who chronicles his journey of grief. From the first moment of pain and disbelief through the funeral and the police investigation, hoping beyond hope that the question 'Why' would be answered. And then the realization that 'Why' would offer no solace.

"Dr Daher's unique position as PhD psychologist and bereaved father are obvious in the human struggle that presents itself as his journey of healing unfolds. A classic narration on the spiral nature of grief and mourning. It is rich with reminiscences and ritual. "
Marilyn S. Walke, Director of Client Care, Centre for Living with Dying