Pregnancy loss can leave us with many unanswered questions, and knowing where to find answers is not always clear.
This book is for you if, like me, you’ve been affected by any kind of pregnancy loss – currently or in the past. It provides practical advice and self-care strategies to help you cope during or after loss, alongside ideas that will enable you to make sense of what’s happened – including understanding your feelings and choices; outlining what you can expect during and after your loss; ways to navigate physical and mental health care (if appropriate); and thinking about how to remember your baby. It’s for charities, support groups, therapists, and healthcare professionals who want to provide support and care.
We all react – and cope with loss – in different ways, and this book respects diverse needs when it comes to getting information and help. You don’t have to feel like you are going through your loss alone. In this book you’ll find reflection exercises, self-help resources, and stories and suggestions from other people about how they survived, which should leave you feeling more confident and better able to seek additional support if you need it.
Table of Contents
2. Facts, figures, and symptoms of pregnancy loss
3. How to manage your loss
4. What to expect from healthcare
5. Your emotions during and after pregnancy loss
6. Making sense of what has happened
7. The needs and feelings of partners
8. Taking care of you
9. Looking out for your relationship
10. Moving forward
11. Deciding to try again (or not)
12. Pregnant after loss
Sources of Support
Petra Boynton has a PhD in Applied Human Psychology. Her research specialism is sex and relationships and she has taught at several UK universities, most recently at UCL from 2002-2014. In 2014 Petra ran a public awareness project with the Miscarriage Association identifying the needs of partners affected by miscarriage and resulting in a multimedia project (film, cartoon and an information booklet) that led to international press coverage (http://theresearchcompanion.com/partners-too-how-to-make-a-public-awareness-campaign) Petra is also an Agony Aunt/Advice Columnist and has worked for the past 13 years providing information on health and relationships to the public via the media (print, online and broadcast media including Grazia, Men’s Health, and since 2012 at the Telegraph). She has used this experience to advise governments and global healthcare agencies and is experienced in discussing complex and emotional topics in sensitive and accessible ways.
'A deeply useful, practical and sympathetic resource that will be invaluable for anyone affected. It can be difficult to find the right words when it comes to pregnancy loss, but Petra Boynton has done just that.' - Justine Roberts, Founder and CEO of Mumsnet
‘Pregnancy loss can be devastating, and for some it’s a life-changing experience. It’s a time of shock, sadness and grief, but also one of questions and confusion. It’s times like this you really need a sympathetic ear, a shoulder to cry on, or someone that can support and guide you through. This book is the companion that everyone needs. Not only is it packed with expert information and advice, Petra’s empathy and compassion shine through on every page. From understanding why loss occurs, to how partners can be affected, to getting help and support, this is an invaluable resource.’ - Dr Ranj Singh, NHS Doctor & TV Presenter
‘Petra Boynton’s book is a very welcome addition to the existing literature on pregnancy loss. It provides a helpful and thoughtful overview of the factual, practical and emotional issues that feature time after time on our helpline and forums – and some that rarely get mentioned at all. It is understanding and inclusive, beautifully illustrated and designed, clear and accessible. It’s a book that will bring comfort and understanding to many.’ - Ruth Bender Atik, National Director, The Miscarriage Association
‘Petra Boynton has written an empowering book that promotes agency and healing. Loaded with practical advice and suggested solutions, the book is a source of both informational and emotional support for those coping with pregnancy loss. Boynton leaves no stone unturned attending to issues relevant to partners, diversity, sex, and navigating social issues and the healthcare system. She lets the reader know what to expect, and how and what to ask for throughout this challenging journey. Her straightforward, no nonsense writing style and the inclusion of quotations gives the sense that one is being guided by a knowledgeable and supportive friend who’s been there.’ - Pamela A. Geller, Ph.D., Associate Professor of Psychology, Research Associate Professor of Obstetrics & Gynecology, and Co-Founder/Co-Director of Mother Baby Connections, Drexel University; Philadelphia, PA; Chair of Exam Development Committee for the Certification in Perinatal Loss Care, Hospice and Palliative Credentialing Center
Press and Publicity
- Episode 42 - Baby Loss (Sprogcast, segment starts 37:35)
- Why universities should offer more baby loss support (Times Higher Education)
- Petra Boynton: Supporting healthcare workers to help patients cope with pregnancy loss (The BMJ)
- How To Cope After The Loss Of A Pregnancy (EveryMum)
- How To Support A Friend Who’s Lost A Baby (EveryMum)
- We need to get better at supporting people who lose a pregnancy (New Scientist)
- “Something that has helped in my recovery is hope.” (Baby Loss Awareness Week)
- How to Celebrate Mother’s Day after Losing a Baby (Families Magazine)