1st Edition

Living, Loving and Loss The Interplay of Intimacy, Sexuality and Grief

By Brad DeFord, Richard Gilbert Copyright 2013
    252 Pages
    by Routledge

    252 Pages
    by Routledge

    One of the unspoken aspects of mourning concerns the ways that loss affects our intimate relationships and our sexual expressiveness. This text opens these subjects for conversation, with the aim of promoting the trust, care, and respect that enable us to be vulnerable. It purposefully covers a range of topics, including: (1) the meaning of intimacy and the significance of sexuality, providing a basis for the use of these terms throughout the book; (2) death, grief, and differences in sexual orientation, including death and intimacy in the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) community and the losses endured by young people due to gender issues; (3) loss of relationship and restoration of intimacy in families, including pharmacological effects on the grief processes of widowers; grieving a not-so-loved parent; the "layered losses" of infertility and intimacy; and the tolls of war--intimacy and sexuality challenges for soldiers and their families; (4) adjusting to life's losses associated with aging or illness or infirmity, including Alzheimer's and dementia-related illnesses, physical health losses after 50, and intimacy, sex, and hospice--self-determination and dignity at the end of life; and (5) religious bases that have shaped our perspectives for understanding intimacy, sexuality, and healing after loss, and which give us hope--including the spiritual reflections of a rabbi and a Christian voice in defining what is right. Set in a framework that is both psychological and spiritual, the well-researched contributions are intended to acknowledge these experiences both professionally and personally. The book concludes with an extensive bibliography, valuable for research and reference. <br><br>This book will be of value in undergraduate and graduate courses on thanatology, as well as for anyone interested in knowing more about grief--both those currently bereaved and those who wish to support others in mourning. The contributors appreciate both the importance of our capacities for intimacy and sexuality and our inhibitions and hesitations in giving voice to our needs and concerns, perhaps especially when we are grieving. The information and compassionate understanding they provide encourage us to bridge the gap between the secret and the private and to share what is close to our hearts.

    Brad Hunter

    Brad DeFord and Richard B. Gilbert


    Brad DeFord

    SECTION 1: Death, Grief, and Differences of Sexual Orientation

     Death and Intimacy Issues in the LGBT Community: A Gay Perspective
    Ronald L. Attrell

     Young People and Gender Issues: Living with Loss
    Linda Goldman

    SECTION 2: Loss of Relationship and the Restoration of Intimacy in Families

     Momma’s Dead and Daddy’s on Viagra!: Elder Widowers, ED Drugs, and New Romantic Relationships
    Harold Ivan Smith

     Grieving a Not-So-Loved Parent: Sinking in the Mud of Hurtful Memories
    Richard B. Gilbert

     Infertility and Intimacy: Life’s Layered Losses
    Darcy L. Harris

     The Tolls of War: Intimacy and Sexuality Challenges for Soldiers and Their Families
    M. Douglas Harvey

    SECTION 3: Adjusting to Life’s Losses by Aging or Illness or Infirmity

     Birth of a Stranger: Intimacy, Sexuality, and Dementia
    Sara Sanders and Joelle Osterhaus

     Love, Life, and Losses After 50
    Anne Katz

     Intimacy, Sex and Hospice: Self-Determination, Dignity, and Intimacy Options at the End of Life
    Sherri Weisenfluh and Vicki Merrill

    SECTION 4: Religious Bases for Understanding Intimacy, Sexuality, and Healing After Loss

    CHAPTER 10
     Living, Loving, and Losing: A Spiritual Reflection Through the Eyes of a Rabbi
    Daniel A. Roberts

    CHAPTER 11
     Engaging the Christian Voice in Defining (and Redefining) What Is Right
    David Daubert and Robert D. Machamer

    Afterword: Toward a Spirituality of Love and Longing
    Brad DeFord

    Richard B. Gilbert



    DeFord, Brad; Gilbert, Richard