Preface
1. Not a Misery Memoir
2. Reminiscences
3. Calm Before the Storm
4. Applied Grief and Bereavement Theory
5. Denial as a Defence
6. Treatment: The Skeleton
7. Not Waving but Drowning
8. Death
9. God in the Storm
10. Our Life Raft
11. Margaret’s speech
12. Life After the Flood
13. Ghost, Dreams and Reminders
14. Survivors
15. Avoidance
16. Getting on with It
17. An Imagined Life
Appendix 1: Sources of further support
Appendix 2: Critical reflections
Appendix 3: A summary of learning points for professionals
References
Biography
Nina Praske is a Professor at a UK University. Her greatest achievement is being the mother of three fantastic adult children born close together in under two years. Sadly, one of her sons, James, died of cancer at the age of 25. She continues to love all her children in the present tense and is determined to hang on to her compassion, live a good life and continue to make a decent contribution to the world. With this in mind Nina has written this book to help healthcare professionals and others do the best they possibly can for families facing up to the premature death of a loved one.
This is not a misery memoir, and it is not a self-help guide. It is a book about keeping going, in the context of the total awfulness of the death of a child. I wish nobody else might need to read it, but I know they will. I am so glad it is now available.
Tom Shakespeare, Professor of Disability Research, LSHTM“This is a powerful, devastating, funny and kick ass account of the death of a beautiful, beyond loved son and the viscerally intense grief of his mother…. There is no filter here and among the sadness and tears are laugh out loud moments and a cast that includes parakeets, ghosts and an imaginary dog called Frank. Through ‘Love in the Present’ Tense Nina has produced a gift for other families and those who support them. For anyone really who cares.”
Dr Sara Ryan, University of Oxford“Nina Praske has shared her powerful story to help others learn from her experiences and support a world in which people’s experiences of death, dying and loss help shape the work of professionals involved in it, for the better.”
Jenny Fogarty, Lead for St Christophers CAREThis remarkable book tells a difficult story with a grace and a hope that is powerful. It also grabs our attention and makes us think. The questions and exploration of ideas pulls us in and makes us think and navigate difficult questions in a way that helps us love and grow. This is a book for so many who are prepared to be challenged and want to live in the now. The style, depth and generous spirit of the book invites us to travel deep… and every bit of that journey is worthwhile; not easy, not simplistic but life in all its fullness.
Bruce Kinsey, Chaplain/Wellbeing and Welfare Officer, Balliol College, OxfordWriting to make us feel but also to make us think...
Christina HealeyJournal of Inclusive Practice in Further and Higher Education
