1st Edition

Male to Male
Sexual Feeling Across the Boundaries of Identity

ISBN 9781560239765
Published October 2, 2000 by Routledge
404 Pages

USD $49.95

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Book Description

Explore the feelings of men toward other men without the pigeonholing found in terms like “gay” and “straight”!

Male to Male: Sexual Feeling Across the Boundaries of Identity starts with the evidence that most studies on male sexuality have ignored--the same-sex feelings of men whose identities are heterosexual. Of the more than fifty men in this book, almost half were aware of some degree of same-sex feeling. But beyond percentages, the primary focus of Male to Male is the exploration--through their own words--of how these men experienced same-sex feelings, what these feelings meant to them, the fears surrounding them, and the consequences of the collision between their heterosexual identities and their same-sex feelings.

In addition to comparative data on women's same-sex feelings, as well as on what men say in regard to their feelings about women, Male to Male includes material from two in-depth case studies. The first is on Clark, an African-American man who moved into sex with men in prison. His story shows that the need to see gay men as feminine is really a cultural defense against the powerful pull toward the male-to-male bond, and points to the movement to fulfill that bond when this defense is dropped. The second is on Zack, a gay police officer. His story explores the different dimensions and meanings of the male-to-male bond as these unfolded in his own life, while telling about the heterosexually identified men who “came out” to him about their own same-sex feelings.

Male to Male will help you explore:

  • same-sex feelings in heterosexual men and women
  • same-sex feelings in the military
  • prison culture and the “heterosexual role”
  • the fear of domination
  • the aesthetics of fear and power
  • the dynamics of rape
  • compassionate relationships between heterosexual-identified men . . . and much more!
Male to Male provides evidence showing that the identity that really counts--constituting the deepest source from which men's sexual feelings for each other spring--is not specifically a gay or heterosexual identity. That source is, rather, a male identity, and--beyond that--a human identity.

Table of Contents


  • Foreword
  • Preface
  • Biological Essentialism, Social Constructionism, and the Individual
  • The Individual in Psychological Research
  • Acknowledgments
  • Part I: Ordinary People
  • Chapter 1: The Inner Boundary
  • Same-Sex Feeling in Heterosexual Men and Women
  • The Truth Is Out There
  • Comparisons with Women
  • The Institutional Culture
  • Same-Sex Feeling and “Gender Atypicality”
  • Chapter 2: Women at the Boundary
  • Sexual Attraction As an Emotional Response
  • Avenues of the Mind
  • Image and Emotion
  • Your Brain Is an Active Explorer
  • Emotion As Change in the Body's “Landscape”
  • Sexual Attraction As “Moving Toward”
  • The Invitation
  • Adolescence
  • Chapter 3: “Moving Toward” and Resistance
  • Seth
  • Will
  • Same-Sex Feeling and the Military
  • Chapter 4: Men on Men: Image, Emotion, and Meaning
  • The Image of the Male Body
  • Men's Fears
  • Adolescence and Identity
  • Culture--Internalization and “Disidentification”
  • Identity and the Divided Self
  • Moving Toward Friends
  • Bisexual Identity
  • The Class Subculture
  • The Emotional Fabric
  • New Movement
  • Spiritual Connections and the Sense of the Sacred
  • Chapter 5: “Heterosexuality” versus “Moving Toward” Women
  • Nick
  • Tony
  • Russ
  • Oneness
  • Chapter 6: Emotional Paths
  • Colin
  • Alex
  • The One-to-One Bond
  • Comparisons with Gay Men
  • Psychological Rock Bottom
  • Chapter 7: Identity Crises
  • Johnny
  • Carl
  • Michael
  • Part II: Clark
  • Chapter 8: “A Man Like Myself”
  • Sexual Identity
  • Prison Culture and the Heterosexual Role
  • The Fear of Domination
  • The Image of the Male Body
  • Movement Through Stages
  • Relating to a Man--As a Man
  • “I See Myself”
  • The Aesthetics of Fear and Power
  • Male Bonding and Sexual Love
  • An Emotional Milestone
  • Stepping Over the Cultural Barrier
  • Chapter 9: Movement into a New Territory
  • The Rape dynamics
  • Sex As Dominance and Performance
  • The Top of the Line
  • The Two Emotions in the Rape
  • The Rape
  • Rejection in Rape
  • Rejecting the Rapist Mentality
  • “I Have a Choice”
  • An Expression of Love
  • Change in Fantasy Life and Identity
  • Making Love with a Masculine Man
  • Comparisons with Women
  • Male to Male
  • Rape Dynamics--Dissolution
  • Twinning--Male Self, Male Other
  • Part III: Zack
  • Chapter 10: Cultural Confrontations and Identity
  • The Institutional Culture: Early Encounters
  • Early Movement
  • Early Adolescent Explorations
  • The Guide Dream
  • Dream and Myth
  • The Role of the “Carrier”
  • Rites of Passage
  • Joining the Police Force
  • Suicide and the False Self
  • The Turning Point
  • Self-Disclosure--Family
  • Self-Disclosure--Work
  • Chapter 11: The Color Green
  • Early Directions
  • The Color Green
  • The Dream of the Color Green
  • The Image of the Double
  • The Double in Conrad's The Secret Sharer (ital)
  • Love in the Flesh
  • Two Masculinities
  • The Dream of the Young Man in the Cellar
  • The God of Love
  • The Third Meaning of the Dream of the Young Man in the Cellar and the Dream of the Cave
  • Chapter 12: Boundary Crossings
  • Zack As the Double
  • “I Felt I Was Jewish”
  • Fighting with Destiny
  • Compassionate Relationships
  • Boundary Crossings
  • Conclusion: Identity and Beyond
  • Appendix: David and Jonathan
  • Notes
  • Bibliography
  • Index
  • Reference Notes Included

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