1st Edition

Married Women Who Love Women And More...

By Carren Strock Copyright 2023
    342 Pages
    by Routledge

    342 Pages
    by Routledge

    Originally written in the 1990s, this book remains a key resource for women in heterosexual marriages who discover, or are coming to terms with, their lesbianism or bisexuality. This classic edition includes a new foreword from Ann Northrop—veteran journalist, activist, and co-host of Gay USA—that reflects on the changes in language, intersectionality, and understandings of gender since first publication.

    Celebrating 25 years since first publication, this book shares the author’s personal story, as well as the descriptive experience of others, to provide validation and empowerment to multitudes of women in their search for their true identities. The author gives women ways in which to structure and restructure their lives and their families after they realize their samegender sexuality. Chapters consider questions such as how women make this discovery, reactions from loved ones, and the outcomes for marriages and families. Updated throughout with contemporary understandings of sexuality and gender, as well as updated language, this book includes a wealth of information, fresh narratives, and stories offering insight into women’s experiences across the country.

    This is an essential read for women and their partners who are discovering their true identity, as well as therapists, helping professionals, and students of women’s studies, gender studies, sexuality studies, and LGBTQ+ studies programs.

    Foreword to the Classic Edition by Ann Northrop  Acknowledgements  Introduction 2020 or Recap  Part One: The Discovery  1. Awakening  2. What Am I?  3. What Now?  Part Two: A New Life  4. Do I Tell My Husband or Not?  5. The Husbands  6. What Do The Kids Think?  7. Coming Out to Friends and Family  Part Three: Options  8. The Reality of Marriage  9. Redefined Marriages  10. New Kinds of Relationships Including Polyamorous Ones  11. The Single Lovers of Married Women  12. Labelling: No Longer Simple  Part Four: Selfhood  13. Sexual Intimacy  14. New Beginnings  15. What Does Transgender Mean?  16 Then and Now or Woulda, Coulda, Shoulda  Part Five: More Women's Stories  17. More Women's Stories  Appendix: Where to Turn to for Help and Information  Notes  Glossary: Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Terminology and More  Bibliography  Additional Reading


    Carren Strock, equally at home with a paintbrush and canvas, a needle and thread, or a hammer and nails, is as eclectic in her writing as she is in her other interests, although she is best known for this book, Married Women Who Love Women: And More…, her definitive sociological study.

    'This book is a gift, to all of us. There’s a reason that Carren Strock’s amazing Married Women Who Love Women: And More... is now being recognized as a classic 25 years after it first came out. It's because there are profoundly interesting and moving stories here, but, most importantly, it is personal, straight forward, and real. It allows people to connect emotionally and offers life lessons for everyone.'

    Ann Northrop, veteran journalist, activist, and co-host of Gay USA

    'This book is a powerful tool for therapists and other professionals. It is easy to read, has accessible content, and is a pertinent addition to gender and sexuality studies. It has also proven to be a great support for the people who have gone through this experience.'

    Lisa Speidel, assistant professor in the Women, Gender and Sexuality Department, University of Virginia; co-author of The Edge of Sex: Navigating a Sexually Confusing Culture From the Margins (Routledge)

    'An enlightening book that addresses with sensitivity and compassion for all involved, the difficult circumstance—more common than many may realize—of women who are married to men, who then become aware of their primary desire for other women. Updated to speak to evolving sexual and emotional mores, this volume underscores how complex the human heart is, and how resistant to rigid and unchanging labels human sexual responses can be.' 

    Naomi Wolf, author of The Beauty Myth and Outrages: Sex, Censorship and the Criminalization of Love, USA

    'This book provides a deep, thoughtful, and moving account of the diverse experiences of married women who find themselves unexpectedly but passionately falling in love with other women. The powerful first-person accounts in this book will shatter all of your stereotypes about what 'typical lesbians' or 'typical bisexuals' are supposed to be like, and whether those are even the right terms to apply to some of these cases! Anyone who has marveled at the power of love and desire to turn life upside down will find this book captivating and engrossing.' 

    Lisa M. Diamond, professor of Psychology and Gender Studies, University of Utah, and author of Sexual Fluidity, USA

    'Carren Strock’s first book helped me find my authentic voice and life many years ago. Her words spoke to the depths of my heart, gave me the courage to step fully into who I am, and helped me to live an authentic life. I am sure that this edition will help many more women. I highly recommend it! As a 62-year-old woman who came out when I was 41, her words gave me the wings to fly. I will be forever grateful for her literary contributions!' 

    Micki Grimland, licensed clinical social worker, USA

    'I think Married Women Who Love Women is a great book. I find it helpful for women who are debating what to do. I feel that it’s on a level with Nancy Friday’s My Secret Garden because it opens up the possibilities and normalizes a variety of sexual feelings and sexual ideas for a number of people.' 

    Elisabeth Gordon, psychiatrist, Sexual Health, USA

    'Twenty-years after Carren Strock shattered barriers with her best-selling book, Married Women Who Love Women, changes in social mores and attitudes have necessitated a third edition. This book apprises the expanding consciousness of sexual attraction, orientation, fluidity and identity. By sharing highly personal and compelling stories of married women around the world who have an affinity for other women, she has created a safe space for kinship, understanding, and sisterhood for those who identify with this experience. Carren’s honest description of her own journey helps to sooth the angst that often accompanies this type of exploration. Married Women Who Love Women is a useful guide for therapists and helping professionals—and most of all, for women who love women, their partners, family members, and friends.' 

    Margaret DaRos, psychotherapist, contributing author to the anthology, Out of the Closet, Into Our Hearts: Celebrating Our Gay Family Members, and board member of Portland Maine PFLAG, USA

    'Married Women Who Love Women deepens the complex narrative around women’s lives. While society is evolving and is seemingly more open to the fluidity of gender and sexual expression, the actual negotiations between the women and those they love--husbands, children, family, friends, and lovers—is still shrouded in societal norms and pressures. This edition using women’s words, and some of their husbands and children’s voices along with accessible professional/academic analysis allows the reader to begin to understand the complexities of gender but more importantly the fluidity of love.'

    JoAnne Myers, associate professor of Political Science and co-founder of Women, Gender and Sexuality Studies at Marist College, USA, and author of The Historical Dictionary of the Lesbian and Gay Liberation Movements