1st Edition

Out of the Twilight Fathers of Gay Men Speak

By Andrew Gottlieb Copyright 2000
    226 Pages
    by Routledge

    226 Pages
    by Routledge

    How would you react if your son told you he was gay?

    Out of the Twilight: Fathers of Gay Men Speak explores how fathers have dealt with discovering that their sons were gay and what effect it had on their own development as parents and people. This revealing, moving book will help you understand the difficulties and joys of a father/gay son relationship.

    Out of the Twilight draws from literary sources such as poems, fairy tales, plays, novels, and movies, as well as psychoanalytic theories, to highlight the obstacles that a father must overcome to understand and identify with his son.

    In Out of the Twilight, you will discover the personal and intimate struggles of these fathers, including:

    • Mitchell, whose son, Jay, came out at the age of twenty-one, and who describes the coming-out process as a means of forging a closer father-son relationship
    • Juan Miguel, who knew and accepted that his son was gay before his son told him, and who discusses how his love and complete acceptance made the coming-out process easier for his son
    • Peter, whose response to his son, Richard, was ordering him to live at home so the family could look for a 'cure’for Richard's homosexuality
    • Daniel, who admitted that he himself was gay after being married and who was very accepting when his son, Charles, came out since it provided them with a special bond
    • Marty, whose response to his son Gary's coming out was to join P-FLAG, an organization for parents of gay and lesbian children, so he could find support and acceptance among other parents who were going through the same thing
    Out of the Twilight allows you to see how fathers have struggled with the truth about their sons' sexuality. This book presents a unique opportunity to develop a greater awareness of and appreciation for father/son similarities and differences, and suggests that through time, communication, and love, fathers can become comfortable with and respectful of their sons' homosexuality.

    • Foreword
    • Preface and Acknowledgments
    • Introduction: “What About Father?”
    • Chapter 1. Child to Father
    • Fatherhood: A State of Crisis
    • Chapter 2. In Search of the Father
    • Homosexuality: A State of Crisis
    • Chapter 3. Methodology
    • Overview
    • About Sampling
    • The Sample Itself
    • Data Collection
    • Trustworthiness
    • The Interview
    • Reactions: Before and After
    • Data Analysis
    • Chapter 4. The Stories
    • Mitchell
    • Juan Miguel, Jr.
    • Peter
    • Harry
    • Luis
    • Daniel
    • Marty
    • Glenn
    • Ronald
    • Neal
    • Pei
    • Walter
    • Chapter 5. Findings
    • Dreams
    • Beginnings
    • Wonderings
    • Disclosure
    • Impact
    • Chapter 6. Discussion
    • Acknowledgment/Acceptance
    • Identification
    • Idealization
    • Internalization
    • From Separateness to Attachment
    • From Illusion to Reality
    • Limitations and Implications for Future Research
    • Implications for Practice
    • Other Thoughts: Research versus Treatment
    • From Child to Adult
    • Appendix A: Consent Form
    • Appendix B: Statement to Subjects
    • Appendix C: Semistructured Interview Guide
    • Appendix D: The Fathers at a Glance
    • References
    • Index


    Gottlieb, Andrew