Rapport at Work How to Communicate Mindfully, Navigate Culture, and Build Relationships

List of figures

List of tables

List of case studies

Acknowledgements

F  Foundations

F.1 What is rapport?

F.2 Learning to manage rapport

F.3 Culture and context

F.4 Rapport and AI

F.5 Structure of the book

1  Principle 1: Watch the Triggers

Part 1: How to recognise the triggers and take them into account

Practice T1: Clarify and address Goals

Practice T2: Balance Autonomy–Control

Practice T3: Balance High–Low Attention

Practice T4: Respect people’s Face

Practice T5: Exercise Fairness

Practice T6: Uphold Ethical principles

Application activities

Part 2: Understanding the triggers more deeply

1.1 The Interpersonal Circle

1.2 Moral foundations theory

1.3 Interpersonal concerns

1.4 Culture and the GAAFFE Triggers

Key takeaways

Follow-up reading

References

2  Principle 2: Master Reactions

Part 1: How to master our reactions

Practice R1: Resist negative looping

Practice R2: Reappraise events

Practice R3: Understand and notice emotional display

Practice R4: Build emotional awareness and competence

Application activities

Part 2: Understanding reactions more deeply

2.1 Emotions, emotion categories and emotional granularity

2.2 Cognitive sensemaking: A theory of blame and appraisal theory

2.3 Emotional display and influencing factors

2.4 Regulating and discerning emotions

Key takeaways

Follow-up reading

References

3   Principle 3: Tailor your Interactions

Part 1: How to tailor your interactions

Practice I1: Control the (language) Code

Practice I2: Heed hidden meanings

Practice I3: Adjust your (communicative) actions

Practice I4: Tune your timing

Practice I5: Stretch and flex your (communication) styles

Application activities

Part 2: Understanding how communication works

3.1 The communication process

3.2 Achieving mutual understanding

3.3 Speech acts

3.4 Timing and turn-taking

3.5 Communication styles

Key takeaways

Follow-up reading

References

4   Principle 4: Take People into account

Part 1: Why and how to take people into account

Practice P1: Manage hierarchy flexibly

Practice P2: Heed social distance

Practice P3: Understand role responsibilities

Practice P4: Foster identity and attitudinal awareness

Application activities

Part 2: Understanding people factors more deeply

4.1 Pragmatics perspectives on power and social distance

4.2 Role responsibilities

4.3 Psychological safety

4.4 Identity theory and the perception of others

4.5 Microinsults

Key takeaways

Follow-up reading

References

5   Principle 5: Be Mindful of Settings

Part 1: Why and how to be mindful of settings

Practice S1: Adapt to event norms (Communication settings level)

Practice S2: Adjust flexibly to the organisational culture (Organisational setting level)

Practice S3: Be responsive to institutional requirements (Institutional settings level)

Practice S4: Adjust flexibly to societal expectations (National and international settings level)

Application activities

Part 2: Understanding Setting factors more deeply

5.1 Settings as multilayered

5.2 Communicative events

5.3 Psychological safety in organisations

5.4 Homophily and social influence

5.5 Cultural values and their impact on different setting levels

Key takeaways

Follow-up reading

References

6  Case Study applications

Part 1: Learning from case studies

Case study 6.1: Mismanaged rapport in an annual review at work

Case study 6.2: Mismanaged rapport in an international summer camp

Case study 6.3: A successful apology

Case study 6.4: Overcoming a problematic relationship at work

Application activities

Part 2: The value and use of ‘critical incidents’

6.1 What are critical incidents?

6.2 Critical incidents and reflective learning

6.3 Collecting critical incidents

Key takeaways

Follow-up reading

References

7  Concluding comments

Index

Biography

Helen Spencer-Oatey is an internationally renowned expert in rapport management and intercultural communication, listed in the top 2% worldwide of most influential scientists in her field by the Stanford University/Elsevier 2025 ranking. She prioritises the practical application of her work and, with colleagues, has developed a range of diagnostic tools & resources in support of this. She is an emeritus professor at the University of Warwick, UK, and now provides masterclasses and guest talks at international conferences and professional events. |

Domna Lazidou is a culture and communications specialist who works with multicultural organisations to help them understand and manage cultural complexity, develop global leadership capability and create flourishing and inclusive diverse cultures. As a trainer and academic tutor she focuses on developing the skills needed for navigating increasingly uncertain, fast transforming workplaces.

'Rapport at Work is packed with rich insights and practical approaches for fostering and maintaining healthy, productive relationships – more than in any other book I have ever read. I'll be drawing on them in my own work. Written in simple, clear language, every chapter is grounded in research while showing a deep understanding of what makes real people tick. Bravo!'

Carlos Valdes-Dapena, CEO, Corporate Collaboration Resources, LLC

'Rapport at Work is a highly practical and accessible introduction to communication and relationship management in diverse settings. Rather than providing fixed rules, it makes readers think about how they communicate and what influences the way they communicate. The book will be of great benefit to professionals as well as students of business communication who want to build better relationships with colleagues, clients and other collaborators.'

Doris Dippold, Associate Professor of Intercultural Communication, University of Surrey

'This is a brilliant book! Relationships lie at the core of all workplaces, but creating positive rapport is not always straightforward, especially when working across cultures. In Rapport at Work, Helen Spencer-Oatey and Domna Lazidou astutely outline why this is the case, and how we can develop better social relationships with others and avoid unnecessary conflict. They translate decades of meticulous empirical research into a highly accessible and practical framework for navigating relationships in the workplace. It is a must read not only for professionals wanting to improve workplace culture, but also students and scholars of workplace communication.'

Professor Michael Haugh, School of Languages and Culture, University of Queensland

'This is a thoughtful, practical and timely book for anyone seeking to build more meaningful connections across cultures and contexts. What I particularly appreciated was the way it makes rapport both intellectually rigorous and practically usable. I also valued the broader treatment of culture, which makes the framework relevant not only across national cultures, but across teams, professions, organisations and institutional settings. It offers a clear framework for noticing, reflecting and responding with greater care. For reflective practitioners, it is both intellectually rich and immediately useful in everyday working relationships.'

Tanya McCalmon, Director/Inclusion Consultant, Lennox Learning & Development

'Rapport at Work is a fascinating book which brings the reader into the world of relationships, language, and culture. The book is ground-breaking because it presents a research-based but highly accessible introduction to the topic, with relevance not only for those who seek to manage rapport more successfully but also for academics who research the area.'

Dániel Z. Kádár, Dalian University of Foreign Languages, China and ELTE Research Centre for Linguistics, Hungary