Rekindling Desire: 3rd Edition (Paperback) book cover

Rekindling Desire

3rd Edition

By Barry McCarthy, Emily McCarthy


248 pages

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Paperback: 9780367143848
pub: 2019-10-18
Available for pre-order
Hardback: 9780367143831
pub: 2019-10-18
Available for pre-order

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For over a decade, Rekindling Desire has helped to restore and affirm pleasure-oriented sexuality for thousands of people. Drawing on respected therapist Barry McCarthy’s extensive knowledge and experience, this updated third edition offers strategies and solutions for no-sex relationships and inhibited sexual desire.

Contained within are psychosocial sexual skill exercises that will develop communication and confidence , as well as fascinating case studies that illustrate a wide range of couples’ sexual frustrations. The shame, embarrassment, and hesitancy that individuals feel with themselves, and the resentment and blame they can feel towards their sexual partners, are explored and put into context. With an individualized relapse prevention plan to ensure sexual gains are maintained and built upon, the book encourages couples to work as a team to minimize guilt and maximize intimacy.

Rekindling Desire, 3rd edition fully celebrates female and male sexuality, challenges inhibitions and avoidance, and promotes satisfying, secure and sexual relationships. Whether you are married, cohabitating, or dating, it will help renew sexual desire and empower people of all sexual orientations and ages on the path towards healthy, pleasure-oriented sexuality.


"This classic book is my favorite for couples distressed by sexual desire discrepancy. It helps them make the difficult switch from resentment and blame to becoming an intimate sexual team. The simplicity of the McCarthys’ wisdom is disarmingly accessible. I will be delighted to recommend this new, third edition to therapists and clients working collaboratively in sex and couple therapy." Peggy J. Kleinplatz, PhD, professor of medicine and director of Sex and Couples Therapy Training at University of Ottawa, Canada.

"I was a huge fan of the first two editions of this book, and this newest edition is an even better version of the McCarthys’ gifted and skilful approach to the understanding and treatment of sexual desire problems. Well written, insightful, and above all practical, this is a book all couples experiencing strains in their sexual relationship will find comforting and enlightening. I know of no better self-help resource than Rekindling Desire, and of no better messengers than Barry and Emily McCarthy. I know that I will continue to recommend this book to my patients." Daniel N. Watter, Ed.D, past-president, The Society for Sex Therapy and Research (SSTAR)

"Once again Barry and Emily McCarthy have crafted an excellent volume that actively engages and helps the reader in a directed manner to understand and resolve sexual desire issues in their relationship. I highly recommend Rekindling Desire as both an adjunct to therapy and as a stand alone read." Michael A. Perelman, PhD, co-director, Human Sexuality Program and clinical professor emeritus of psychiatry at Weill Cornell Medicine, NewYork-Presbyterian

"The McCarthys have put a career's worth of wisdom, inspiration, and practical suggestions into the updated edition of this remarkable book. If your sexual desire and couple sexual satisfaction are in good shape, this book will help you make things even better. If you are struggling with desire in today's harried and confusing environment, it will show how to have more sexual and emotional intimacy." William Doherty, PhD, professor, University of Minnesota and author of Take Back Your Marriage

Table of Contents

1. When and Why Couples Lose Sexual Desire 2. Whose Problem Is It? Hers, His, or Ours? 3. Turnoffs: Poisons for Sexual Desire 4. Finding Your Voice: Celebrating Female Sexuality 5. The New Male Sexuality: Confronting Autonomous Sex Performance 6. Being an Intimate Sexual Team: Discovering Your Couple Sexual Style 7. Building Anticipation: Bridges to Sexual Desire 8. Attachment: Enhancing Intimacy 9. Nondemand Pleasuring: Let’s Play Touchy-Feely 10. Challenging Inhibitions and Avoidance: Be Sexually Presence 11. Creating Erotic Scenarios: Vital Sexuality 12. Maintaining Gains: Keeping Sexuality Vital and Satisfying 13. Intimate Attachment: Enhancing Your Bond 14. The Erotic Marriage: Lusting for Life 15. Valuing A Satisfying, Secure and Sexual Relationship

About the Authors

Barry McCarthy is a professor of psychology at American University, a diplomate in clinical psychology, a diplomate in sex therapy, and a certified couple therapist. He is the author of over one hundred articles, thirty-three book chapters and twenty-one books. He has presented over 450 professional workshops nationally and internationally. He received the SSTAR Masters and Johnson award for lifetime contributions to the sex therapy field.

Emily McCarthy received a B.S. degree in speech communication, and her writing and wisdom provides a balanced humanistic perspective. This is Barry and Emily’s 14th co-authored book.

Subject Categories

BISAC Subject Codes/Headings:
PSYCHOLOGY / Human Sexuality
PSYCHOLOGY / Psychotherapy / General
PSYCHOLOGY / Mental Health
PSYCHOLOGY / Psychotherapy / Couples & Family