1st Edition

Stopping The Violence: A Group Model To Change Men'S Abusive Att...Workbook

By David J Decker Copyright 1999
    318 Pages
    by Routledge

    by Routledge

    This informative and helpful guide will assist your clients in making positive strides toward a nonviolent life. Some of the tips and suggestions that are further explained in this workbook include:

    • Acknowledge to yourself and to others that you have a problem with anger, abuse, and control
    • Address mental health and chemical use issues if they are present in your life
    • Come to know that, when you become abusive, you are always feeling inadequate, powerless, and unlovable
    • Realize that controlling and abusive behavior hurts you and those you love
    • Understand that anger is different from abuse and control
    • Recognize that becoming abusive is always a choice
    • Instead of blaming others, take responsibility for what you feel, how you think, and how you act
    • Accept that you cannot control or change other people
    • Remember that you can always take a time-out
    • Think about the possible consequences before you become controlling and abusive
    • Identify what triggers your anger and your abusive and controlling attitudes and behaviors
    • Notice what you are thinking: Your thoughts can increase your escalation or calm you down
    • Become aware of all your feelings, not just your anger, and learn to respectfully communicate them to others
    • Turn conflicts into positive problem-solving opportunities
    • Control, abuse, and violence are learned: Think about the messages you received from your family and from society about what it is to be a man
    • Redefine manhood as nonviolent and nonabusive
    • Take the risk to count on other men for emotional support
    • Learn to feel a genuine sense of pride by taking control of how you view the world and how you act
    • Start to believe that you can truly change the controlling and abusive parts of who you have been

    Preface; Culture and Cultural Differences; Managing technical professionals; Multicultural teamwork; Communication; Career management; Looking ahead; Appendix A: Advice for HR managers and diversity trainers; Appendix B: Demographics; Appendix C: A cross-cultural look at technical education; Appendix D: Professional associations and regulations; Appendix E: Glossary of idiomatic phrases and sports English.


    David J Decker