The Everyday Lives of Gay Men : Autoethnographies of the Ordinary book cover
1st Edition

The Everyday Lives of Gay Men
Autoethnographies of the Ordinary

ISBN 9780367676834
Published October 7, 2021 by Routledge
198 Pages 5 B/W Illustrations

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Book Description

The Everyday Lives of Gay Men draws on the expertise of 12 contributors from different countries and fields, writing from an autoethnographic first-person approach.

Putting the power of personal stories at the centre of the construction of sophisticated narratives of gay men’s lives, the accounts draw attention to the limits of traditional perspectives to gay men’s studies that look at gayness through a sexualised lens and explore how gay men make sense of their identity in their everyday lives. Together they present a complex, nuanced understanding of gayness and challenge the conception of ‘being gay’ as a sexual orientation because it describes in sexual terms an identity that is not only, not always, and not predominantly sexual. The authors come from a variety of fields, including counselling studies and sociology, to communication, religion, and education.

The innovative approach of The Everyday Lives of Gay Men makes it ideal for students and scholars in gender studies, sexuality studies, sociology, mental health, and research methods.

The Open Access version of this book, available at, has been made available under a Creative Commons Attribution-Non Commercial-No Derivatives 4.0 license.

Table of Contents

Ken Plummer

Introduction: What is conjured when we talk about the everyday lives of gay men?
Edgar Rodríguez-Dorans and Jason Holmes

1. 17 Times a day I think of being gay
David Lowbridge-Ellis

2. Shower thoughts – of loss and queer love
Randall C. Lopez

3. Christmases past and present: A Phet tee saam lamb’s search for their flock
Panu Sahassanon

4. Sunday: An intimate self-dialogue about loneliness
Cináed Thomas

5. On (not) living past 30
Tony E. Adams

6. Going back to the glory hole: An (extra)ordinary story of meeting shame, doubt, and arousal in the therapy room
Seamus Prior

7. Becoming (in)visible: A performative autoethnography on mental health, help-seeking, and missing connections
Willem J. Stander

8. Lack of ordinary privileges in a gay man’s life: Navigating through privileged systems
Yasin Koc

9. I dreamt of a stranger
Julian Triandafyllou

10. Testing proximity and intimacy: An everyday reappropriation of private and public space
Edgar Rodríguez-Dorans

11. In my Latinx gay shoes: Work, discrimination, immigration, and polyamory
Oscar Pantoja Guzmán

12. Planetary times and queer times: A critical planetary romanticism for the earth
Whitney A. Bauman

13. Notes on the contributor’s experiences: Insights into autoethnographic research
Edgar Rodríguez-Dorans and Jason Holmes

Edgar Rodríguez-Dorans and Jason Holmes

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Edgar Rodríguez-Dorans is a qualitative researcher and mental health practitioner interested in the study of identities, sexualities, the everyday lives of LGBTQIA+ people, and the use of performing arts in research. He completed a PhD in counselling studies at the University of Edinburgh. He is a lecturer in counselling and psychotherapy at the University of Salford.

Jason Holmes works as a psychotherapist and writer. His research examines the ways gay male friendship groups can take on qualities commonly associated with cults and the emotional harm such groups can inflict on their members. He completed his doctorate in psychotherapy at the University of Edinburgh and is a member of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy.