The development of how twins relate to each other and their single partners is explored through life stories and clinical examples in this telling study of twin interconnections. While the quality of a nurturing family life is crucial, Dr. Klein has found there are often issues with separation anxiety, loneliness, competition with each other, and finding friendships outside of twinship. When twin lives are entwined because of inadequate parenting and estrangement, twin loss is possible and traumatic, creating a crippling fear of expansiveness—an inability to be yourself. Therapists and twins seeking an understanding of twin relationships will find this clinically compelling book a valuable resource.
Table of Contents
Preface Jacqueline M. Martinez Introduction 1. What Childhood Memories of Life Experiences and Narratives Reveal About Adult Twin Relationships 2. Parenting Issues With Twins: Strategies to Resolve Conflicts and Uncertainties 3. When Do Separation Issues Begin for Twins? When Do Separation Issues End? 4. Why Twin Fighting Can Lead to Estrangement 5. The Lives of Adult Twins 6. Being a Twin in a Non-Twin World 7. The Healing Process in Psychotherapy for Twins 8. Affirming Relationship Changes for Twins Throughout the Life Span Bibliography
Barbara Klein, PhD, has a doctorate in child development and clinical psychology. She consults nationally and internationally with twins and parents of twins about developing individuality and maturity in twin relationships. She is the author of Alone in the Mirror: Twins in Therapy (Routledge, 2012) as well as seven other books.
“The author developed a well-organized volume, and her focus and approach are presented in accessible form in this field. I believe that the author’s ideas are new and unique in the sense described as follows. 1. She beautifully describes distinctive features in the relationship of twins for each developmental stage. 2. She illustrates emotional conflict in the twin-ship which are organized around shared ego boundary and closeness (and distance). 3. She describes why and in what sense non-twins could not easily understand the delicate emotional balance between twins. 4. She demonstrates the key issues to be addressed by mental health professionals who see a twin patient.”— Koichi Togashi, PhD, LP, professor, Konan University, Kobe, Japan
“Are you a twin? Have you met a twin? Yes? No? Either way, you need to read Twin Dilemmas. It gives the best evidence based description of issues and applied suggestions for positive communication you can find. The book offers an example of systematic qualitative research based in identity types and transaction patterns. Written with clarity and accuracy, we experience “the world around the lives of twins” and learn from it. We get to look through the window and see the dilemmas lived by twins—and ourselves! This is a basic reference book for human science research and teaching.”—Richard L. Lanigan, PhD, executive director and Fellow, International Communicology Institute, Washington, DC, USA; university distinguished scholar, professor of communicology (Emeritus), School of Communication, Southern Illinois University; Senior Fulbright Fellow (China 1996, Canada 2007); Fellow of the International Academy for InterculturalResearch; Fellow, Polish Academy of Science (Philology).
“Dr. Klein's focus on employing intersubjectivity theory is timely and practical, and her unique expertise will add depth to her discussions…”—Stu Wolman, MD, board certified in pediatrics and child and adult psychiatry; private practice; training and supervising analyst, Institute of Contemporary Psychoanalysis, Los Angeles.
“It is psychologically hard living as a twin within the non-twin world. Twins facing a wide range of psychological challenges, ranging from depression, loneliness, anxiety, confusion, and disappointment, or those simply seeking greater understanding, will find huge value in Dr Klein’s Twin Dilemmas. The culmination of 35 years of professional endeavor, this work continues the amazing expert service she delivers to twins worldwide – that of providing insight into what it means to be a twin.”—Dr. Stephen Hart, MA FRHistS, Department of War Studies, The Royal Military Academy Sandhurst, UK
“A twin’s relationships are forever complicated. Barbara’s gifted mind combines poignant twin narratives with counseling insights, forming vivid depictions of the certain but changing struggles twins face over a lifetime. Twins/Multiples are rising in number, yet this deepest of human connections is still misguided by ill-equipped parents and support specialists, causing paralyzing outcomes. Twins will be grateful beneficiaries of ditching the cultural cuteness obsession for twins and assuming genuine responsibility for each twin’s uniqueness.”—Lynn Kraus Boberg, BA in psychology and K-8 education; an identical twin
“Non-twins have no clue! The energy and complexity of the twin relationship is very different from usual sibling relationships. This book will be tremendously helpful for parents of twins who seek to nurture and understand their children. Easily accessible and well organized—there are new insights at every page turn.”—Louise Thomson, MBChB FRACP, physician; mother of girl-boy twins