Why Don't I Feel Good Enough? : Using Attachment Theory to Find a Solution book cover
1st Edition

Why Don't I Feel Good Enough?
Using Attachment Theory to Find a Solution

ISBN 9781138943513
Published September 17, 2018 by Routledge
264 Pages 22 B/W Illustrations

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Book Description

Why Don’t I Feel Good Enough? Using Attachment Theory to Find a Solution offers a guide to how early emotional bonds affect our adult relationships and how psychological theory can help us to find the origin and solution to a number of life’s problems.


Bringing a wealth of therapeutic experience and the latest scientific research, Helen Dent introduces the benefits that understanding attachment theory can bring to all areas of life. You will find this particularly helpful if you struggle with everyday relationships and have difficulties managing your emotions. Using practical guidance, real-life examples and questionnaires to help you locate your own 'attachment style', she provides the tools and guidance to help you move on and develop secure, positive attachments.


Why Don’t I Feel Good Enough? will be an important guide and resource for psychotherapists, counsellors, clinical psychologists and their clients. It provides a good introduction to attachment theory for professionals in training.

Table of Contents


Part One: Why Don’t I Feel Good?

    1. How Can I Help You?
    2. Feeling Good
    3. Surviving and Thriving - Attachment Theory
    4. How Attachment Styles are Formed
    5. Attachment Styles in Adulthood
    6. Part Two: Taking Action - Mapping My Inner Life

    7. Family History and the Genogram
    8. Working Out My Attachment Style
    9. Putting It All Together – Formulating My Psychological Map
    10. Part Three: Becoming Aware of the Hidden Forces in My Relationships

    11. Romantic Partners
    12. Family and Friends
    13. Colleagues
    14. Other Relationships
    15. Part Four: Feeling Good - Learning to Take Control of My Life

    16. Taking Care of Myself
    17. Managing My Emotions
    18. Managing My Behaviours
    19. Where Can I Get Further Help?
    20. Part Five: Additional Information

    21. Strengths and Limitations of Research Evidence

Afterword - Eva, Dan, Jas and Zac…

Further Reading





List of Figures

Figure 2.1 Circles of context

Figure 2.2 Johari Window

Figure 2.3 Johari Window after Self-Exploration

Figure 3.1 The Attachment Cycle – Development of Trust & Secure Attachment

Figure 3.1 Development of Emotional Understanding & Regulation

Figure 3.1 Development of Shame

Figure 3.1 Relationship Repair

Figure 4.1 Secure Attachment Style

Figure 4.1 Pyramid of Personal Fulfilment

Figure 4.1 Anxious Attachment Style

Figure 4.1 Avoidant Attachment Style

Figure 4.1 Disorganised Attachment Style






List of Tables

Table 4.1 Labels Given to Infant and Adult Attachment Styles

Table 4.2 Bowlby’s Original Classification of Attachment Styles

Table 5.1 Adult Attachment Behaviours

Table 14.1 Universal Emotional States

Table 14.1 Forms of Dissociation

Table 14.1 Symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress


List of Exercises

Exercise 6.1 Assessment Flowchart

Exercise 6.2 Genogram Symbols

Exercise 6.1 Eva’s Genogram

Exercise 6.1 Zac’s Genogram

Exercise 7.1 Attachment Style Vignettes

Exercise 7.1 My Attachment Style Questionnaire

Exercise 7.1 My Attachment Style Questionnaire – Eva

Exercise 7.1 My Attachment Style Questionnaire – Dan

Exercise 7.1 My Attachment Style Questionnaire – Jas

Exercise 7.1 My Attachment Style Questionnaire – Zac

Exercise 8.1 Five P’s Formulation

Exercise 8.1 Nine Steps Formulation

Exercise 8.1 Eva’s Formulation Map

Exercise 8.1 Dan’s Five P’s Formulation

Exercise 8.1 Jas’s Formulation Picture

Exercise 8.1 Zac’s Formulation Story

Exercise 14.1 Jas’s Record of Emotions

Exercise 15.1 Self-Imposed Barriers to Change

Exercise 15.2 ROSE acronym for managing intense emotion

Exercise 16.1 Subjective Units of Distress for Measuring Progress


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Helen Dent is Emeritus Professor of Clinical and Forensic Psychology at Staffordshire University.