Widower : When Men are Left Alone book cover
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Widower
When Men are Left Alone





ISBN 9780895032867
Published June 15, 1996 by Routledge
246 Pages

 
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Book Description

In "Widower: When Men are Left Alone", a journalist and a social worker explore the grief process as men experience it. The book contains the oral histories of twenty men, ranging in age from 30 to 94, who have lost their wives to a range of causes including cancer, alcohol, murder, and suicide. Taken together, the stories guide the reader through the journey of widowhood, from the raw despair of the early weeks to the resolved perspective thirteen years later, offered by the only true authority on the subject - the men who have survived it.

Table of Contents

INTRODUCTION TO THIS NEW EDITION

WHAT HAPPENS TO MEN WHEN THEIR MATES DIE

GEORGE: The First Few Months
 Dealing with anger and disbelief, with the lack of carnal comfort and with inept expressions of sympathy

SAM AND JIM: Relying on Religion and Work
 The values and dangers of familiar structures

JAN: A Murder in the Family
 The strength of the tribe and of solitude, coping with the children's loss, and making a quick reliance

HANK: When a Wife Takes Her Own Life
 Coming to grips with suicide through a "replacement wife" as grieving agent

MARK: Widowed Under Thirty
 Generational differences, and the danger of escaping depression by making a quick recommitment

RANDY: Turning to the Bottle
 Bereavement as a catalyst for self destruction and resurrection

KARL: Finding New Friends
 Turning to people outside your circle and finding you have something new to offer

JAKE, FRAN, MIKE, AND JERRY: Keeping Company
 A Transcript of a bereavement group

BILL: When Your Wife is Your Whole Life
 In the process of re-peopling your life, sometimes a psychiatrist can help

JOE: Married for Life, and Longer
 Living in the past even when you're active in the present

GORDON: Ambivalence in Bereavement
 The Complications of grieving a wife who slowly destroyed herself can inhibit efforts to start a new life

MURRAY: Anticipatory Grief
 The incremental mourning of long-term illness, the difficulty of talking about it, and finally taking advantage of new freedoms

DEREK: Assisted Suicide
 The special challenge of sharing responsibility for a wife's death

ROGER: A Transformation of Values
 In seeking the wisdom of other widowers, finding new wisdom in one's self

LOU: Enjoying Life After Death
 Learning to be happy again, alone but not lonely, without feeling guilty

PETER: The Ultimate Transcendence
 Overcoming the limitations of society and of the self to grow into a new kind of man
—developmentally, psychologically, emotionally, and spiritually

WHEN MEN ARE LEFT ALONE

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