2nd Edition
Late, Lost, and Unprepared A Parents’ Guide to Helping Children with Executive Functioning
Does your child have difficulty meeting deadlines, staying organized, or keeping track of important information? Do they tend to forget details? Are they prone to emotional meltdowns? This book will become your go-to, all-inclusive guide to helping children manage issues with these executive functions.
Late, Lost, and Unprepared is packed with encouragement, strategies, overviews, case studies, tips, and more, explained in accessible, everyday language. In this updated and expanded edition of the highly regarded book for parents, you will find valuable new insights, fresh examples, and an all-new chapter on emotional regulation. Featuring down-to-earth examples and a flexible framework that allows you to think on your feet, the strategies within this book can be adapted to any child or situation.
In addition to providing approaches for helping your child to manage demands in the short run, this book offers strategies for building independent skills for long-term self-management. Late, Lost, and Unprepared gives parents the support they need to help their child become productive and independent – today and in the future.
Acknowledgments
Part I: What You Need to Know
1 Introduction
Why Another Book?
Who Are We?
The Plan for This Book
2 What Is Executive Functioning?
A Formal Definition of Executive Functioning
Understanding Executive Functions by Looking at Life without Them
A List of Executive Functions
How This Book Is Organized
Final Thoughts
3 Development of the Executive Functions
Why Is My Child Having Problems with Executive Skill Development?
I.Q. and Executive Functioning
Typical Development
How Do I Know If My Child’s Executive Skills Are Developing Normally?
4 The Child’s Experience of Executive Weaknesses
Daily Life
Emotions
5 Impact on the Family
Impact on Parents
Impact on Siblings
Impact on Couples
Special Situations
Staying Healthy
6 Assessment: Figuring Out What’s Needed
The Purpose of Assessment
Evaluating the Role of Expectations
The Evaluation Process
Who Does Testing and What Do They Test?
Where Should You Seek an Assessment?
How to Be an Educated Consumer
Once the Assessment Is Done
Now What?
A Note about Executive Functioning and School Plans
7 ADHD, Learning Disabilities, and Other Conditions Associated with Executive Functioning Challenges
Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)
Learning Disabilities (L.D.)
Autism Spectrum Disorders (A.S.D.)
Other Conditions Often Associated with Executive Function Weaknesses
Wrap-Up
Part II: What You Can Do about It
8 How to Help: An Overview
The Two-Pronged Approach
Designing Interventions
Creativity at Work
9 Behavior Change in a Nutshell
Use Real Life to Teach
Take a Teaching versus a Punishing Approach
Collaborate with Your Child
Focus on the Desired Outcome
Raise the Stakes
Reward Even Small Steps in the Right Direction
Use “Tried and True” Behavior Modification Techniques
Trust Your Child’s Own Developmental Urges
When Should You Allow Your Child to Experience Natural Consequences for Behavior?
Change Does Not Occur in a Smooth or Steady Uphill Manner
10 If at First You Don’t Succeed, Try a Few More Times Then … Change Your Expectations!
Don’t Try to Keep Up with the Joneses
The Limbo Game of Setting Expectations
If You Need to Change Expectations
Your Child’s Expectations
Your Partner’s Expectations
Fading Support
11 Helping Children Control Impulses
Strategies to Help a Child Manage Verbal Impulsiveness (Talking Excessively, Interrupting Others, etc.)
Strategies to Help a Child Manage Physical Impulsiveness (Grabbing Things, Pushing and Shoving Others, Hitting, etc.)
Strategies to Help a Child Stop Irritating Behavior
Strategies to Help a Child Control Running Off in Stores or Other Settings
Strategies to Help a Child Manage Homework Problems
Case Study: Putting It All Together
Transitioning from Short-Term to Long-Term Goals
Educate Others and Advocate for Your Child
Final Thoughts
12 Helping Children Shift Gears
Strategies to Help Children Manage Transitions
Strategies to Help a Child Adapt to New Situations or Environments
Strategies to Help a Child Who Becomes Upset When Peers Break the Rules or Behave in Unexpected Ways
Strategies to Help Reduce a Child’s Frustration When Their First Attempt to Solve a Problem
Isn’t Successful
Case Study: Putting It All Together
Transitioning from Short-Term to Long-Term Goals
Educate Others and Advocate for Your Child
Final Thoughts
13 Helping Children Get Started on Homework and Other Tasks
Strategies to Help Your Child Get Started with Homework
Strategies to Help Your Child Complete Chores and Other Routine Activities
Strategies to Help a Child Who Puts Off Major Projects
Case Study: Putting It All Together
Transitioning from Short-Term to Long-Term Goals
Educate Others and Advocate for Your Child
Final Thoughts
14 Helping Children with Working Memory Challenges
Strategies to Help a Child Who Has Trouble Following Directions
Strategies to Help a Child with Written Expression and Other Complex, Multistep Tasks
Strategies to Help a Child Who Interrupts Others So They Won’t Forget What They Want to Say
Strategies to Help a Child Who Needs to Reread or Relearn Information
Strategies to Help a Child Who Has Trouble Taking Notes in Class
Case Study: Putting It All Together
Transitioning from Short-Term to Long-Term Goals
Educate Others and Advocate for Your Child
Final Thoughts
15 Helping Children to Plan and Organize
Strategies to Help a Child Organize and Track Multiple Tasks over Time
Strategies to Help a Child Who Underestimates the Effort Involved in a Project
Strategies to Help a Child Who Does Homework But Doesn’t Turn It In
Strategies to Help a Child Who Struggles When Prioritizing Bits of Information
Strategies to Help a Child Who Arrives at Events Unprepared
Strategies to Help a Child Organize Their Materials and Their Space (Locker, Desk, Bedroom)
Case Study: Putting It All Together
Transitioning from Short-Term to Long-Term Goals
Educate Others and Advocate for Your Child
Final Thoughts
16 Helping Children Monitor Their Behavior
Strategies to Help a Child Who Gets Upset with the Outcome in a Situation but Lacks a Realistic, Systematic Approach to Making Things Go Better
Strategies to Help a Child Who Doesn’t Notice When They Have Gone Off on a Tangent
Strategies to Help a Child Who Doesn’t Notice “Careless” Errors
Strategies to Help a Child Who Doesn’t Adjust Behavior Based on Feedback
Strategies to Help a Child Notice When Peers Lose Interest in the Topic of Conversation
Strategies to Help a Child Who Is Genuinely Surprised When They Get in Trouble for Misbehavior (“What Did I Do?”)
Case Study: Putting It All Together
Transitioning from Short-Term to Long-Term Goals
Educate Others and Advocate for Your Child
Final Thoughts
17 Special Topic: Helping Children with Emotional Regulation
Strategies to Help Children and Teens Build Foundation Skills for Self-Regulation
Strategies to Help Children and Teens Who Need a Little Extra Support to Manage Their Feelings
Strategies to Help Children and Teens Who Need a Lot More Support to Manage Their Feelings and to Recover Once They Lose Control
Case Study: Putting It All Together
Transitioning from Short-Term to Long-Term Goals
Educate Others and Advocate for Your Child
Final Thoughts
18 Concluding Thoughts
The Zen of Intervention Planning
The “No Victims” Approach
Building a Life
Who Can Help?
A Field in Progress
Appendix
Bibliography
Index
Biography
Joyce Cooper-Kahn, Ph.D., is a clinical child psychologist who specializes in the treatment of children and adolescents with ADHD, executive functioning challenges, and other learning disabilities.
Laurie Dietzel, Ph.D. (1962–2015), was a clinical psychologist who specialized in the neuropsychological assessment of ADHD, learning disabilities, and other neurodevelopmental disorders. She was a coauthor of the first edition of this book. Her work lives on in this edition.
