1st Edition
Leading with Love: How Compassionate Leadership Enables Schools to Thrive
Leading with Love reveals how focusing on relationships, wellbeing and core moral and ethical values can transform the motivation and engagement of teachers, parents and pupils, increasing their overall happiness as well as academic standards.
In each chapter Victoria Carr presents accessible and relatable personal life lessons, leadership observations and anecdotes, drawing on her leadership experiences in a wide range of schools to show how leading with integrity is possible for all. Her methods are simple and authentic and have transformed failing schools into thriving ones, improving whole-school systems, the culture of staff and pupil wellbeing and mental health, and standards.
Full of practical tips and end of chapter summaries with further suggested reading, Leading with Love will appeal to anyone who has suffered from imposter syndrome, who thinks they are not good enough to succeed, who thinks they are too old or don’t have the right background.
With a Foreword from Paul Garvey, this is essential reading for all school leaders and aspiring school leaders.
Introduction Foreword Paul Garvey 1. Taking the hand of my inner child: the beginning of my leadership journey 2. The courage to continue 3. Do what is right, not what is easy 4. Words can lift us up or tear us down 5. Influencers are dreamers 6. It’s not what you are, but what you are afraid you are not that holds you back 7. Nothing is more expensive than a missed opportunity 8. Life never stops teaching, so you don’t stop learning 9. People may forget what you said, but never how you made them feel 10. Invest in yourself – it pays high interest 11. Choices can reflect your hopes, not your fears 12. Talk to yourself as you would a loved one 13. Your body may be present but your soul isn’t 14. People, not systems, change the way that people work 15. If you want to go fast, go alone; if you want to go far, go together 16. Collaboration is multiplication 17. From playground to parade ground: leading with heart
Biography
Victoria Carr is Headteacher at Woodlands Primary School, UK. She has been a leader in several contexts in her life, from parenthood to headship, lecturing to headteacher, research to relationships. Dr Vic always leads with love and this book exemplifies how and why!
"Just wow! If you are curious about yourself, leadership, and love then Vic will take you on a reflective ride through her and (more importantly) your life. With loads of stories to help you think, links to threads you might want to explore and practical nudges, I now have a book covered in ink and a mind that has been lit up. Enjoy!"
Russell Earnshaw, Rugby Player and Coach, The Magic Academy
"
Vic is a well-respected and successful Headteacher, with a proven professional track record. She supports numerous leaders in a range of spheres of influence and is widely recognised as a leadership and life coach and source of support to all. Dr Vic’s TEDx talk has been viewed thousands of times and has provided inspiration to countless people as it resonates on many levels. She is also up to date with current research and is a skilled academic, but this book makes tangible what all leaders face in the ever-changing world we live in. SHE IS AMAZING!"Sarah Watkins, Reception Teacher and Forest School Leader
"What an emotional rollercoaster - I’ve gone from tears to smiles and back again reading this book. It’s lovely and hopeful and positive in spite of all the pain in it. But then that’s what it’s about isn’t it - transcending all that and finding beauty and love among it all."
Debra Kidd, Educator
"Gold dust to any teacher or aspiring teacher, very personal and obviously from the heart. I genuinely enjoyed it. I know it will resonate most strongly with those who are, or aspire to be, school leaders. You offer a heart-felt insight into leading in education, offering many practical tips that many will find useful as a guide and hand rail. I see the book as more of a reference book that education professionals will use often - not just read once. But, the book will be of interest to a far wider audience. It offers us all a different perspective on leadership, based on an intensely personal journey. You deal not only with the professional world, but relate leadership to normal life - and I might add you are not afraid to cover some extremely sensitive ground such as illness and therapy. There are some practical leadership tips for us all - life skills - such as your Top 10 list. It also offers some excellent insights on leading our kids; it certainly made me think."
Paul Anthony Edward Nanson, CB, CBE, Major General (retd.)
"For those like Victoria and I, both who have survived adverse experiences, at work and in our personal lives, it is crucial that when we reach a point of confidence, we share our stories to benefit humanity.
This is a book for people who like to wear their 'heart on their sleeve'. An encapsulating account of life for people who want to learn how others overcome anxiety and a lack of confidence; something we all experience in life and at work.
In all sorts of scenarios, particularly in leadership, Dr Victoria Carr models how she is not only an inspirational woman, she is a mother, an author, an academic and an energetic school leader! She is a teacher full of integrity and resilience. This book has it all, from abuse to divorce, from growing up in Liverpool and Kenya to surviving the British Reserves application process - with flying colours - and Ofsted inspections.
Get this book! Have a box of tissues or chocolates to hand, because it's a gripping read, and when you come up for air, you'll be in awe of the human potential in all of us and how resilient we truly can be. It has taken me almost 30 years working in education, to truly understand that what our young people need more than anything else, is love and then an education. Learning to lead with love rather than just with your head requires phronesis, and this book has boundless lessons for us all. It's an epic book!"
Ross Morrison McGill, Author of ‘100 Ideas – Outstanding Lessons’, ‘Teacher Toolkit’ and ‘Just Great Teaching’
"Authentic, gritty and powerful. This deeply personal story shows how closely 'life leadership' and 'school leadership' are aligned. Despite tragedy and hardship this is a motivational and optimistic read. Packed with examples of integrity, self-knowledge and resilience, this book clearly illustrates how our best school leaders work as a protective force for others."
Professor Dame Alison Peacock, DBE, DL, DLitt, Chief Executive, Chartered College of Teaching
"It is very moving and full of insights into how to turn painful to positive. What a difference belief in someone can make, for all of us."
Mary Myatt, Education Writer and Speaker
"Vic traces her professional journey from a difficult childhood to school leadership, university lecturer and, ultimately, a reservist in the British Army as well. This book takes the mantra ‘You can’t do that!’ and turns it on its head.
It is self-affirming, reaffirming and full of reflection on a life full of challenge, demanding and even chaotic at times.
The recurrent message threaded throughout this vivid portrait of a life packed full of change and challenge is the need to give people the time they need to talk, to share problems and to have someone who listens to you with empathy and wisdom. Vic is that person. Her patience and positivity are exuded throughout this publication and are a message and a model for all of us.
When Vic says: "I will never know the influence I have had, if any, I know that people tell me publicly and through direct messages, emails and gifts that they are thankful, but we never know the impact of supporting someone to achieve. My take on this is I don’t need to know, what I do know is that everyone I help out is more likely to then help others, and who would not like the idea of that?" she speaks from the heart with caring and wisdom. The miracle is that her generosity of spirit and compassion have grown out of a childhood of crisis and abuse.
The wisdom is repeated in Chapter 9: "People may forget what you said, but never how you made them feel." Here Vic reflects that "… you will see how difficult it is to extract your human self from the leadership persona you have, and in fact it is perhaps much more healthy to align the two, integrating the lessons learned in both to gain deeper understanding of yourself and how you can improve." Wise words indeed.
We are reassured that exceptional leaders are kind and generous with their time, but move on if they are not valued – accepting that some things are time limited. Making yourself ‘redundant’ is part of succession planning and is healthy.
This book leaves you wondering…
Where next for me? Where next for you? Where next for a school?
There is always a new page, a new ending and a new beginning with caring and with love."
Ros Wilson, Cert.Ed; Dip.Ed; M.Ed.; Education Consultant
"Leading with love….. A very open, honest and personal journey from a Headteacher that passionately wants to make a difference. There are some little gems of advice for any educator and a clear message throughout that you don’t need to be a perfect leader but if you lead with positive intent and love then you can make a real difference."
Mike Hamilton, Founder of Commando Joes
"Deeply moving, incredibly honest and totally inspiring – a must read for anyone interested in understanding where humanity in their leadership comes from, with simple, yet practical, signposting at the end of each chapter.
What a fantastic read! Some great insights into leading with love, anchored in a rich seam of experience and grounded in authenticity. It takes real courage and a leap of faith to do something like this. Just brilliant."
Colonel Lucy Giles, Deputy Director, Army HQ.
